#even made a timeline for it once in a timeline app on my phone | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

zuyoo · 8 months ago

Text

linger, one-shot. ﹙ nagi & gn!reader ﹚ 비애

CONTENT WARNING — clueless nagi, (open-ended) angst, misleading actions, images used are not face claims but rather used as a reference to visualize a scenario. enjoy reading !!!! :D

SYNOPSIS — you’re in love with your best friend, nagi seishiro, who is oblivious of your feelings but treats you well more than just a friend

ZUYOO’S NOTES — noOOoO 10 images limit on tumblr mobile app ( ꒦ິ ཀ ꒦ິ ) word count is probably a little over 1000 if not more than that.. ok ily enjoy reading MWAAA

p.s. i love u, everyone who leaves feedback and/or reactions with all my life :DD it just makes me feel so motivated in writing, thank you all sm!!

it started with one message, which lead to another… then another… then more. you two instantly clicked right after being attending the same club in your university. you’ve seen him before, and thought that he looked hard to approach—since he’s always on his phone, barely talks, and is always either practicing, in class, or out of reach (in his dorm)

you two grew close after talking about similar interests, and it didn’t take too long for you to develop feelings for him. i mean… how could you not when he has treated you way better than any other man who’s walked out of you life?

he messages you on a daily basis, doesn’t hesitate to come over and take care of you when you tell him that you aren’t feeling well, treats you to meals, drives you home, tries new hobbies because you told him you like those.

nagi has the looks, the talent, the brain, the skill, the body that a girl could ask for. you’re simply lucky enough to be near his presence—and oh boy how all the girls that see you two together makes you feel it.

their glares and side glances sharp as a knife, it gave you goosebumps all over. but you eventually paid no mind to their stares, the only thing that mattered at the moment is how you’d spend your day with nagi!

it’s been three years since your first interaction with him, and you two haven’t changed a thing. take it with a grain of salt. yes, you two still treat each other the same way, and no, he is not your anything—just a friend.

he’s such a fish to catch that you’re surprised why he’s still not seeing anyone at this point. maybe there was some point that you’ve thought about how there could be possibility that he could like you the way you like him, which is stopping him from seeing anyone else.

or maybe his actions has raised your hopes up and made you delusional. how could you know? you’ve been friends for three whole years now, yet you still can’t read him.

he left you on delivered? that’s new. well- it was bound to happen. it’s not like he’s obligated to reply or at least leave a reaction… right? right. you’re his best friend. nothing more, nothing less.

but what could he be doing? it’s a sunday. he doesn’t have practice, and the term just started. he couldn’t have had any assessments he needed to finish.

your questions were quickly answered once you’ve opened up your twitter app and found someone unfamiliar in your timeline.

“pfft—this happens all the time.” you say. “and they’re always fake.”

and how you wished you were right.

“oh.” was everything you could let out, as if that one tweet didn’t break your heart into pieces. you were glad he’s finally seeing someone—but at the same time, you had hoped that it was just a misunderstanding, that he’s actually maggy’s cousin… or something! just not her suitor. even though the signs are as clear as day.

it was petty, and this- this will hurt you, and it’ll hurt bad. so you had no other choice but to try and distance yourself away from him as much as possible, to save yourself and to respect who he’s been seeing. it was for the better… but—he was making it hard.

nagi’s completely clueless!

you didn’t know whether to laugh it out because of how oblivious he is. does he not realize what he’s doing to you?

at this point, you start to realize how none of it was your fault in the first place. you couldn’t control you feelings, and it certainly didn’t help that nagi treats you way too well.

even so, you could never blame him. it could just be in his nature, to be kind, lovable, and to be the pinnacle of a girl’s dream. and you were the one at fault because you’re taking advantage of his kindness to satisfy your curiosity regarding what it felt like being handled with genuine care, only for it to backfire—seeing that you actually fell for him big time.

still, that wasn’t your first train of thought when you met him. you genuinely wanted to be friends because he seemed like a cool guy. it just so happens that your heart begun to agitate more and more everyday when you’re with him.

or maybe it was maggy’s fau—oh my god, make up your mind, yn!!

“let’s not put the blame on everyone. whatever happened, happened. none of it matters now. i just have to get myself out of this mess… then i’ll be back to same, old me. right.” you thought to yourself.

you have been ignoring nagi for the past three days, leaving him on delivered, and practically scrambling away when you see him in the hallways—or everywhere, actually.

did you tell him why you’re doing this? no, why would you?

does he care? a lot, as a friend, most likely.

he’s been trying to reach you for the past 3 days, while you were off running everywhere but to the places you and nagi went to together, which is hard because you’ve both been to every cafe, every movie theater, every arcade, every mall your city could offer.

there was this one place you two haven’t been in yet. it was perfect for admiring the view below, or simply a place to just clear your mind.

you planned on going there after classes were over, and it made you quite excited. you were supposed to go here with nagi but… you know, things happened. nonetheless, you wanted to enjoy this, even if it meant not being able to bring nagi with you.

after class ended, you bid your farewell to your friends before getting into a cab and going to the rooftop lounge that recently just opened.

you opened the door that leads to the lounge and was surprised by what greeted you at the door.

it was nagi, with maggy. their hands intertwined as they admire the city.

ouch. seeing them like that felt like ten thousand trains running me over.

you were about to leave when you heard her call for your name. you froze on the spot, a course of thoughts ran through your brain on whether to run for it, or play a good face and not ignore her calls.

“y/n! come join us.”

you made the decision to turn around and approach them instead… she waved and smiled at you. god—how can you make such a lovely woman?!

it was too late to run anyways, you felt their eyes on you when you froze by the door, it would be far too embarrassing to just leave with them knowing that you heard maggy call for you.

“hey, i couldn’t reach you.”

nagi greeted. you briefly glanced into his eyes and gave him a smile before breaking eye contact. you could barely look into his eyes—you might burst out crying if you stare any longer.

“i was busy.”

you replied, dryly. you really were busy; busy with assessments, busy distracting yourself from your feelings, busy doing whatever it takes to forget about nagi… but if you two keep meeting like this—and if he keeps trying to talk to you, it will pose a challenge for you to fully move on.

why do you have to let it linger? you ask him in your mind as if he could read it. his constant concern for your wellbeing, his actions towards you, his daily messages checking up on whether you’ve eaten your meals yet—why does he have to let your feelings for him linger?

unknowingly, sure. but has he have not a single clue on why you’ve been distancing yourself? on why you haven’t been hanging around much?

you missed him, really. but this was the perfect distance for you both. he can keep reaching out until the day he gets sick of it; but as much as you want to respond to him, you can’t—you shouldn’t.

the following months were practically the hell. you’ve completely cut off contact with him (you ghosted him, basically) and was buried in a never-ending cycle of homework and projects, leaving no time for anything else.

when the semester ended, your friend, bachira, invited you to his party. he noticed that you were completely restless and said that you needed to loosen up a little.

it was 12 in the evening but the party has just begun—you could consider yourself a fan of staying at home in my comfy pajamas and old indie movies, rather than a party ‘til sunrise & drink ‘til you drop type of person… which lead you to excusing yourself out of the room with flashing lights and booming music to find somewhere else more peaceful to drink.

you found yourself on a huge balcony with a red cup on your hand. thank the gods that the doors muffles out the noise coming from the inside.

this was just right. and honestly what you needed. all that workload from the past few weeks has been killing you.

what you didn’t expect was for someone to break the silence you gave yourself.

“it was about time i saw you again. and out of all the places i thought i would see you in, a party was not one of them.”

nagi spoke nonchalantly. his sudden interjection jolted you out of your own thoughts. it’s been about six months since you’ve broke off contact with him. hell, you could barely remember his voice.

“oh fuc-… ah. i’m sorry- i should find another place.”

“no. stay. you owe me an explanation.”

maybe it was just you, but given where this conversation is headed… he sounded intimidating. his voice didn’t change much, perhaps it didn’t change at all, but you heard the sharpness of his words and felt the need to comply to whatever he says.

“sorry.”

“sorry doesn’t cut it, y’know?”

he lightly chuckled before mixing his drink around his own red cup that he brought.

“right… sorry. but, how are you? how’s maggy?”

“ah. it didn’t work out. she’s nice but it really isn’t working out for us.”

“oh. sorry.”

that was a surprise. you thought they’d still be all lovey-dovey with each other. maggy is a lovely girl, what could’ve gotten wrong?

“another apology and i’ll keep bothering you. you wouldn’t like that won’t you? considering how you’ve completely ghosted me for 6 months without an explanation or even a subtle hint of why you did it? right?”

“hey-!”

okay… maybe he hasn’t changed that much. he still holds his grudges. nagi broke eye contact and looked up to the moon with this… yearning look on his face—he looked so pretty, it was pathetic!!

a sigh left your lips before nervously starting to explain you side, since you felt like he really needed to know why. plus, it was a good chance to let go of that burden.

maybe a confession was nagi’s needed closure, and your way of letting go of the guilt of knowing you’ve randomly disappeared in his life without him even knowing anything.

“i like… liked. you, nagi. more than a friend should’ve.”

“what?”

his actions came to a halt. oh, he was THAT clueless

“aha—yeah… but then there came maggy. she was such a lovely person, and i know you deserved to be loved like that. i should’ve been happy for you, but i really couldn’t bring myself to. it hurts seeing my best friend whom i’ve liked for the longest time smile because of a person they’re romantically involved with, y’know?”

you weren’t able to find the strength to look at him as you explained, but it felt like a weight was lifted off of your shoulders after.

“i-”

“no, don’t say anything. i just really needed to let that out… for your sake, and mine. i also wanted to thank you. y’know—for everything. you’ve been a great best friend, nagi.”

“okay but-”

he didn’t get to say whatever he wanted to say because the door that leads to the party suddenly opened, revealing a tipsy bachira.

“y/n!! here you are~ and nagi too!!”

bachira gleefully said before dragging y/n back inside, leaving nagi alone in the balcony.

he watched your figure get lost in the crowd of people partying without end, saying:

“ah-… i liked you…too?”

365 notes · View notes

the-traveling-poet · 1 year ago

Text

Headcannon no. 5

════════════════════════════════════════

Social Media

Modern!Levi very scarcely uses social media platforms. He prefers to stick to text.

And even then, he only texts when necessary.

If it weren’t for his job and his small group of friends, he might have even forgotten to take his phone with him when leaving the house.

One night when hanging out with Erwin and Hange at the former’s house, a drunken Hange had managed to convince an equally drunken Levi to lend them his phone.

Expect the look of confusion on Levi’s face the next day when he checks his phone and sees a plethora of new apps downloaded on his phone.

After much pestering from Hange, Levi finally made a FabeBook and Instagram account.

“No no no…You need SnapChat! Twitter! Tiktok!”

“Those all sound juvenile.”

His profiles are disappointingly blank. Just his name. No pfp, no bio, no posts, and no liked posts on his timelines.

He somehow gets 300 followers???

He only follows his closest friends, so under 10 people.

Hange steals his phone sometimes to use his account to like their most recent posts.

Levi pretends to not notice.

Eventually, he warms up to the idea of being able to check in on his friends via their posts, and gets encouraged to add a pfp of his own.

It may or may not be a slightly blurry selfie of his bored face.

He’s constantly tagged in posts by Hange, Erwin, Eren, Isabel, Petra, and Oulo whenever he’s in the background of their selfies and other photos.

He only ever commented on a post once, and it was to say “wtf is this” to one of Hange’s many posts.

I headcannon that he both is a dry texter and texts like a dad.

“You coming to the party tonight?” -Jean

“👍”

“You free to come help me out this evening?” -Eren

“Sure thing sport.”

Also frequently leaves texts on “seen” and “delivered.”

Sasha and Connie convinced him to download SnapChat in order to send him all the filtered pictures they’d taken of him at his place of work.

Levi secretly saved them.

Has ever only used text-to-speech once. He hated it.

“Send Eyebrows a damn message. I’ll be there by 5pm. Okay, send. What- Why didn’t it send? I’m driving I can’t- Oi, get the fuck out of the left lane if you’re gonna go 5 under the speed limit! Shitty drivers…Oi, Siri? Siri, quit texting my fucking words and sand the damn message.”

He needs help but he’s trying.

113 notes · View notes

ameliapples · 2 months ago

Text

I see people on other platforms talking about cohost going down and I generally see the same few complaints being trotted out over and over as the reasons why it failed and was doomed to fail from the start. "It kept logging me out", "there was no app", "my timeline was always dead", "I got so little engagement", "I had to wait how long before I could post??". It's the stuff people have complained about with the platform forever, and while I think these complaints are generally a bit silly, they do arrive at what's probably the real reason we're all mourning the impending death of eggbug without realizing it.

A big part of what made cohost so different from other social media platforms is that it was the only platform where you had to actually want to be there. Every other platform is basically designed to hold you at gunpoint and force your attention and engagement 24/7. The gun in this situation being mostly fomo - everything is happening so rapidly, there's so much to keep track of, what if you miss something? what if it's something really big and you don't tweet about it within the first 5 minutes of it happening? what if you miss the next Main Character? there's a new one every day and they're forgotten as quickly as they arrive, but a month from now someone's gonna bring it up as a joke and you won't get it and you'll look lame and cringe! you don't want to look Lame and also Cringe, do you?

cohost never felt that way. If you were there, it was because you genuinely wanted to be. The site was designed to ensure that, even. You had to wait about a week after you made an account to ensure you weren't a spam bot before you could post at all. Once you could post, there was no algorithm. None. Nothing was fed into your feed that wasn't directly posted to a tag you follow or a person you follow. If you wanted to see something outside of that, you'd have to do the legwork browsing tags yourself. For budgetary reasons, there was never an app, so you had to either learn to set up a shortcut icon on your phone or else open it manually in a browser. It also logged you out every 30 days as a privacy and security measure. You had to want to jump through all these hoops to use cohost.

And what did you get for doing the effort? Peace. A social media environment that didn't feel like you were constantly stood in the center of Time Square with all the noise and marquees and heckling voices focused directly at you at all times. It didn't try to be a news site, or an advertising platform. No algorithm meant you only got what you actively chose to see, and nothing more. You could say in your head "lemme check cohost real quick", and you could be up-to-date on your timeline in under 5 minutes. It was a place you would willingly go to check in on friends or look at cool art or play around with html like it was 2004 again, not get sucked into for hours doom scrolling. Because there was no algorithm, no push for engagement, no numbers that publicly went up, no one was competing for attention or clout. No one I ever met on cohost was immediately antagonistic, or rude, or trying to dunk someone. People were chill, FRIENDLY even, in a way I have never seen on twitter or tumblr even back in "the good ol days". The adversarial, cliquey, petty nonsense we all expect from social media was almost entirely absent. It was peaceful, quiet. It was the only social media platform I've used to not give me anxiety, or a migraine.

So of course it fell apart. We live in a world where things require money to simply exist, and cohost was designed basically not to make any by virtue of having virtues. It refused to advertise, sell user data in any way, open a weird shop where you can put microscopic pngs next to your name, or force people's worst impulses in order to keep them on the site for as long as possible. It ran off merch purchases and cohost plus, which was meant to give you premium features but never got the chance to do much more than upping your file size limit on uploads. It was essentially a $5 a month donation. It wasn't enough, clearly.

So now it's going, but I don't really think saying it "failed" is right. If anything, it's made it clear what a failure the rest of the social media ecosystem is. Usually when a platform is dying, or looks to be dying (in the case of twitter, or tumblr post 2018), people immediately make plans to jump ship to a new one. But upon hearing that cohost was shutting down, my reaction, as well as that of a pretty large portion of the user base, was that we'd rather spend time on other things. Cohost was so different an atmosphere it seems to have had a healing property on people who used it. It wasn't perfect, moderation was spotty at times due to the limited staff, people had their blind spots and biases they sometimes struggled to work through. But it was better than what we've grown to expect. It made you realize how tiring the rest of the internet has become, and that you don't need to deal with it. You can better spend that time, doing things you enjoy with people you enjoy. Maybe even outside, if you can muster it. You might even meet some cool people out there, wearing cool patches, eulogizing a cool little website, with a funny lil bug shaped like an egg.

#cohost #appletext #long #people have done better write ups but I wanted to process my own frustration I guess

13 notes · View notes

lloyd283 · 7 months ago

Text

I made a Trollhunters asmr idea about Jim gaining PTSD from the other 'timeline' and claire's trying to help him.

Here you go!

[Soft spoken on a rainy night]

Hey, i came down as soon as i could. Jim, is everything okay, or 'crispy'? Can't believe i said that.

(-)

So, i hear you can't sleep recently, can you? Well, whilst i was babysitting enrique, i found methods to help someone sleep or calm themselves in a book. Lovely artwork, isn't it? They worked on enrique, so hopefully i can do the same with you.

[Personal attention, caring]

Jim, you seem dazed, sad and a little tense in your hands. Did Steve punch you again, that brat? I always hoped he'd become a better guy, but only assistance may make that happen.

Right, just going to check your head like your mother does. Yeah, a fever like head and slightly faster heart rate. Everything else seems fine. We can rule out steve. Next is, a, massage. I hate doing this.

Could i check your arms and lower legs please. They are tense. Think of your phone, but the metal is your body. May i remove your jacket for a back and shoulder massage?

"Jim so owes me a massage one day, this is tiring." Not even that?

Wait, i heard you run at night in the forest from your mother, who's concerned. Is it because of your dirty trainers? I know how to shoe shine myself often, given i wear these boots often or in the 90%s of the time, or my trainers for gym class, heck i sleep sometimes in them (s3 e4)

Little fun fact: i had to make my own trainers with specialist help because i didn't like the concept of laces and not being able to lace any up or trainers in general. You could say a forger helped me.

Not even a nose boop? Why can't you tell me what's wrong.

[Claire, I'm remembering a reality which i rewrote and I'm panicking. Forgive me, I'm going outside.]

Jim, wait! Jim, it's slinging it down and I've no umbrella on me as my parents took them for tonight. I'm soaked, your soaked, could you please come inside.

[I know you believe me to be a kind fearless person but this, this is scaring me. In the other reality, i punched steve to protect my friends. I became a Trollhunter and battled trolls and monsters. Enrique was taken, and i risked everything to bring him back. I almost lost you and you almost lost me. My dad abandoned me, so my mentor became my father figure. You had shadow magic that almost killed you, claire but you were fierce and great. Douxie and merlin called you fair, and no one knows who that dress in the muesum belonged to. Toby died defeating a titan and i had to rewrite the story. I'm afraid that despite passing it to toby, it'll all happen again. And i don't want to lose anyone else!]

Jim, your mantle you had made you who you are today. It ain't that far fetched, i thought i remembered things in my dreams. Drew in my book. I love you, here and there, I'd change nothing if i could. Someone once told me, you aren't alone for someone else is feeling like you.

[Kiss]

We're soaked so much, it feels weird, but it feels good kissing you out here. I wouldn't mind kissing a while longer.

[More kissing, passionate in a way] [sitting under porch about 15 minutes later with a baby monitor app on her phone and a blanket covering them. Claire has her head on Jim's shoulder]

[You're the best thing that's happened to me, apart from probably Toby's support.]

Heh. That's about right.

[You're a fantastic girl you know and we're lucky to have each other]

Awwwwww, jim.

#trollhunters #trollhunters tales of arcadia #jlaire

10 notes · View notes

samarecharm · 2 years ago

Text

Okay everything under the cut is like, something ive (mostly) already had saved in a draft but was too punkass to post but

TL;DR: Akira forms a palace 12-18 months after the events of the base p5 game and it manifests through the anger (fear) of being left behind/tossed aside once his usefulness of being a leader was up. it is incredibly self indulgent, and it is comprised of a ton of hcs ive never really talked about on this blog so some things may feel a bit ooc, but like on god if i actually made a fucking fic it would make more sense 😭

The timeline of events is: base p5 game ->back home after probation -> [akira] spends the summer and third year alone -> palace develops sometime during the end of third year-> thieves infiltrate and clear palace during the beginning of summer -> boy time :) -> spend rest of summer following the plot of p5s. Once i actually play strikers i think that will be the motivation needed to start writing a draft for this fic. (also good lord i transferred this from my google docs on mobile to desktop and theres so many words 😭 )

Ive wanted to make an actual ‘Akira has a Palace!au’ but it feels like. Nearly impossible to try and do so while making it seem realistic (read: in-character and not horrifically ooc), so i simply have not put it down on paper. But within the last year its morphed into something im Okay with and happy to daydream about :)

it hinges on existing hcs i already have for him. The ability to have a palace is dictated by a noticeable degradation in his personality; post game (ignoring royal) has him left alone back home but more importantly, without purpose (in his eyes). From punching some deadbeat and having that lead to gaining a family, saving japan (shido), saving the world (yaldabaoth), only to lose everything he gained in the blink of an eye is just so jarring to him. Existing in the real world does not even compare to being Joker; the finesse and grandeur is simply an aspect of himself he feels he'll never tap into again. There was something comforting about being able to have a separate persona crafted for the metaverse and hes not sure hell be able to tap into it in the real world. On top of that, with how busy everyone is post game (graduating/college applications), while Akira acknowledges that the thieves, his family, are trying really hard to continue on with their lives, he is bitter that they get to do that together without him.

It initially manifests as him simply tinkering about (another hc) to keep his head busy and buzzing, but as he does his own college process, he is more acutely aware of how he is doing this Alone. His entire problem is that being removed from his family has amplified some deep, deep insecurities that hes had way before he got shipped off to tokyo. Its why he is loyal to a fault, its why he demands loyalty in return; all he has to offer is his body. Literally. He promises safety and leadership and in order to accomplish this, he will give his body up again and again; in the metaverse and in real life. If you peel back the layers of his personality, you see someone who has a deeply ingrained sense of justice, and someone who clings to that desperately bc the one thing he feels like he has to do (to have any impact on the world and the people he encounters) is to stand up for and defend people who need defending. If he doesnt have that, what Can he do?

So the combination of being left alone again (sent back home), having a Not Positive relationship with his parents/caretakers, having to do stressful/difficult things alone again after getting comfortable having a team to help with tasks, no longer having the power granted by the metaverse to feel strong, and no longer having the power of the metaverse to allow him to directly impact peoples lives starts to wear him down. HONESTLY it would be over a year before anyone saw the metaverse app appear on their phone again; Akira would be bitter but he would not suddenly spiral out of control months after he goes back home. His friends still call and video chat with him and even ryuji and ann visit a couple of times, but it would be months and months of radio silence before it would sit heavy in his heart that maybe they Didnt want to be bother with him, esp if he had no way to actually be Useful to them. It would sound outlandish to him as hes laughing in a group call w everyone a month after he comes back home, but its alot more plausible when people are simply dubbing his calls.

The whole point of this is that Akiras palace is created from the insecurities in his heart, amplified to a thousand, and so the theme of his palace would be something akin to neglect and Wanting To Have His Family With Him Again. But he is also someone who has an obsession with the bonds he has, and NEEDS to have people who will have a borderline unhealthy relationship with him; if he is willing to die for someone, that someone needs to Also be willing to die for him. He would not Want them to actually die for him (he LITERALLY would die for them before they could do such a thing) but it is the trust in him that he needs above all else. And this is not a GOOD thing! This is kind of bad maybe !!!! It manifested as something good while they were fighting rulers, but now that theres no one to fight, no treasures to steal, its eating him alive. Theres a phase in his boss fight that has his shadow casting Charm/Brainwash on random teammates bc at his core, this is what he misses; his team! And if they wont willingly come back to him, he will Make them come back to him. Thats !!!!! NOT Good !!!!!!!! At all !!!

His palace is the culmination of his internalized beliefs about the world around him, how his role fits into all of this- his true ‘purpose’- and how becoming misguided in life leaves him truly directionless in the worst way possible. His will is as strong as ever, but its been refracted through a dark and muddled lens. He Wants, and he Wants so bad that its warping his desires and his ability to think rationally. The destruction of his palace is more or a less a rebirth of sorts, and it marks the beginning of the thieves real relationship with him and amongst each other. Akira is no longer a Leader, hes just… Akira. And when u just have Akira, does that alter the relationship you have with him? (The answer is yes, and its for the better!!)

The confrontation w the thieves (and subsequently, the confrontation with his own insecurities) is followed up by a necessary respite, where they all take the time to reconnect. Makoto and Haru are in college!! Ann and Yusuke are doing well in their respective budding careers, Ryuji is Ryuji :) ( i am joking; in this au, he is looking into doing personal trainer stuff, and trying to work up the courage to do track stuff again by doing marathons), and Futaba is still a menace (affectionate). AND! After they split up (PROMISING to meet up soon!), Akira answers the door two days later to Ryuji standing there w a suitcase and Makoto waving goodbye to the two of them

From here on, when the plot of strikers happens (directly after this entire mess and maybe a week or two into ryujis stay), Akira is the leader he loves to be, but the burden of responsibility no longer weighs heavy on his shoulders. They are a team; always have been and always will be, only now, they wont settle for an ‘its okay’ when everything about Akira clearly says otherwise. Theyre a team, and Akira will realize that they are more than capable, but more importantly, more than willing to step up when hes unable to do so himself.

#persona 5 #akira #palace au #this is so much please read at ur own risk 😭#i am v passionate about this if u have questions i Will answer them #also it is not really mentioned but pegoryu is implied #and maybe this is also a get together fic ....

59 notes · View notes

lovesick-boyz · 1 year ago

Text

hi.

well… after being stalked and harassed for the past couple of months, i am finally back!! stay tuned lol i got some fics lined up for y’all 😁

anyway if you read that first line and thought to yourself “WTF?!?”, here is the full story for my curious readers (just a warning, it’s long and i rant a lot):

a couple of months ago, i started getting tagged by random accs on tiktok and insta that posted vids accusing me of the most random and heinous shit. honestly, it just baffled me the first time i saw them bc they made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

when the first ones popped up, i just blocked them thinking it was a random troll and went on with my life.

but then i kept getting spammed by other accs with new posts where they not only involved me but also my friends, and accused us as a friend group of being horrible ppl.

i had enough (i can’t even remember how many accs i blocked) and deleted ALL my social media apps for a while (i.e. more than a couple of months, oops) and basically isolated myself from ppl so that i could focus on other things to distract me (i ended up making daily exercise a habit so ig that’s one good thing that’s come out of this lol, i also rewatched all the marvel movies in timeline order hehe). i wish i continued writing so i could’ve at least had more content to share by now, but i was feeling so negative and pissed that i couldn’t even bring myself to write anything (i even uninstalled notion from my phone and that’s where i keep all my drafts and fic ideas)

i only found out the full situation less than a week ago when i reinstalled tiktok bc i missed it, only to find more burner accs harassing me. i finally had enough so i reinstalled insta to rant about it on my spam acc for my friends to see and to my surprise a couple of them knew who it was and explained the whole situation to me.

it was my first time interacting with ppl outside of my family in months lol, when i tell y’all i isolated myself i really did mean it 🙃 my irl friends didn’t even know anything out of the ordinary was happening bc i’m notorious in my friend group for going off the grid for months at a time bc of how bad my mental health gets sometimes, they know to just let me be and let me deal with it alone bc they understand that’s how i work best. (they won’t see this bc they don’t know this tumblr exists but i wanna apologise to my dear friends for my disappearing acts, my bad, i love y’all for being so understanding and still being my friend after all this time 🫶🏼)

anyway, it turns out the culprit was this guy that my friend had rejected previously and he’s so bitter and hateful that he decided to harass me bc he knew i was one of her bffs (the ppl he targeted were the ones in her closest friend group which included me)

but here’s the kicker: I’VE ONLY TALKED TO THIS GUY TWICE!! AND EACH TIME WE TALKED FOR LESS THAN 5 MINS ABOUT IRRELEVANT SHIT!!! WHY AM I INVOLVED?? YOU DON’T KNOW ME!!!!

youtube

when my friend found out she was so surprised and appalled that he was harassing me too, bc him, my friend, and the other ppl he targeted all go to the same college together (and i’m the only one in the friend group that goes to a different college, so to reiterate once again: this guy barely knows me! the last time we spoke was at my friends bday party 3 years ago!! he’s literally insane!)

she knew he was harassing my other friends since they’re all in the same school and know him in person, she didn’t think i would be involved too and i couldn’t believe i was.

anyway, i just wanted to rant about this whole thing bc i’m having a hard time processing it tbh. i hope that guy rots in hell and also finds a job there bc he was acting hella unemployed like who has time for this? he made me feel so confused and paranoid for weeks and i hope he gets all the karma he deserves in the universe.

y’all wanna know something funny tho? i started writing a changmin stalker fic in june, way before this whole situation happened. life imitates art ig 🤪 anyway i finally finished it and i’m gonna release that fic next after i fine tune it, at least now it’ll be somewhat realistic lmaoooo

#cupid speaks #literally the most ridiculous thing that’s ever happened to me #i went from having the most fun time in 🇵🇭 only to come back to this #i should’ve stayed at my grandma’s house that had no wifi for the rest of the summer instead 😒#anyways i’m going to sleep i’ll check back in the morning

12 notes · View notes

hypervoxel · 7 months ago

Note

hiya, for your ask game: 🍬🍄❄️🧩. love to stalk your blog by the way <3

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

Gotta be honest, once I get into a fandom I will leave the main tags as soon as I find my niche and a group of blogs to follow and a few Discord servers to join, and not venture out into the main fandom again. Idk what's popular. I have complained about many takes, but I am also very forgetful so.... Uh, Vox is asexual, Alastor is actually a terrible person (affectionate), Valentino absolutely has a tragic backstory (and is still so evil <3 ), Velvette is literally The Worst and kinda a pick-me girl (I love her), Charlie doesn't understand how to help people and it is detrimental to the people she's trying to help (I also love her). Carmilla is so ridiculous and I don't understand shipping her with Velvette. I don't get Husk (derogatory, but only slightly and mostly in a 'I don't think his writing was consistent, and he was used - as many characters on this series were - as more of a plot device than a complete character in his own right. His dialogue was thrown in to tell-not-show aspects of other characters in a way that felt inorganic to me, which turned me off of his character almost completely' way). Boom, there, so many unpopular opinions <3

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Velvette is so connected to phones and apps and things of that modern tech nature. Therefore: Velvette also broadcasts and recieves radio waves, but only those in the Bluetooth spectrum. She can AirDrop memes onto Vox's face (or, in canon, call his TV head directly, bypassing his phone). Vox is so absolutely not replacing the quiet ease he and Alastor used to share with their similar thinking/perceiving/broadcasting methods (it's alll radio waves) with Velvette. Totally. Totally. His past relationships would never~ cloud how he treats her.

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

Well first of all Me I'm writing it!! So incredibly slowly and badly, but I am writing it nonetheless 😤 I actually have two or three or a dozen ideal dream ideas rattling around in my brain. Obviously, my beloved Damaged Nerve where I throw 20 ideas I enjoy together into one fic (or at least talk about doing that bc. I am always getting distracted instead of updating it). Service shark Vark!!! The VoxVal non-consenual consensual non-consent (it makes sense to me)! Velvette!! Vox killing angels with his bare hands! And getting an arm and half his head cut off (he gets better immediately bc he is all easily replaceable parts)! Charlie and Vaggie watching a Sinner attacking Exorcists right before Charlie was supposed to present her rehabilitation project and having to defend ideas, which is suddenly made even more difficult for her because now it looks like Overlords are planning to fight back against the Exterminations, and he didn't win but neither did the angels, so maybe Hell can fight back against Heaven (wasn't that why the Exterminations happen? Because Heaven is afraid of them uprising? Well, maybe they should be afraid...) Vaggie fallen angel feelings (those were her sisters and she's so bitter about them and she's so scared for them)! The timeline of Exterminations being moved up and Vox getting blamed for it! (Sinners who were previously excited about what he did turn against him bc of the backlash from Heaven and from other Sinners.) Carmilla hating the Vees! Inane and uniformed, smug wannabes! (She still killed an Exorcist for real tho, and Vox only wounded the ones he fought. She thinks she's better than him because she fought to protect the people she loves. Vox literally also did that, except it wasn't people it was a shark. She'd hate that too.) VoxVal horrible terrible no good very unhealthy relationship! VoxValVel also horrible relationship <3 They love each other, they can't live without each other <3 None of them are allowed to leave this ship, even when it's sinking <3 Vox won't lose a partner again; no one else can leave him like Alastor did.

But right now I've been working on a Vox & The Vees-centric rape recovery (or, well, there's not much recovery happening yet. It is just a long and drawn out breakdown where they madly scramble to resecure their power and influence and become more powerful so no one can ever hurt any of them again, and become so codependent) fic and it is everything to me and I do not have it really plotted out, I just have so many Thoughts and vaguely connected scenes for it that I bother people on discord with (hi to any people on discord reading this. Thank u for listening <3 )

Also I am (thanks to your ask about Vox's biology from earlier), daydreaming about a fic I have lovingly named Planned Obsolescence (tho I'm gonna have to make sure no one's taken that title yet) about Vox upgrading himself and upgrading himself and upgrading himself and he can never stay satisfied because the world marches on and he has to march with it, he can't be left behind because he needs to be the one innovating and leading. And upgrading himself.

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Look I'm looking for things that are so specific that if a fic looks like it might be somewhat about what I want, I'll read it. I will click away if you call Alastor a w*ndigo tho.

Wait I thought of something else and then this next part got long and it's also about rape, so I'm throwing it behind a read more

Also!! Holy fuck I just remembered but I've run into it twice now. The Implication that rape is worse when it happens to someone who is already sex repulsed. Like specifically in these scenarios the rape was not a punishment not an attempt at corrective rape. Like, that I would get, actually, if the motivation itself was a hate crime, which adds a whole other dimension to worry about. But, no. That wasn't. I can't even articulate the poor taste it left in my mouth, it's just. Why would you make a character more horrified to learn their friend was raped after they also learned that their friend is ace? "He never would have wanted it-" hello?????? Yeah! That's why it's called rape????

(But also - while I do absolutely love reading about sex repulsed aro/ace characters (lol they're so me) - oftentimes a big part of what I am looking for in a story about rape recovery is a character struggling with the fact that their body did "enjoy" the physical sensation. That sex is supposed to happen with someone you love/are attracted to/trust, and this was a perversion of it, and it fucks up how you view future sexual relationships.) (And like, the physical sensation being pleasurable while your mind feels only disgust and repulsed is. An aspect that I feel like many can relate to, not only sex repulsed aces. Unless I'm projecting??) (Of course, recovery from the perspective of a character who was sex repulsed and remains so is also so so good.) (In general, it's a topic that needs to be portrayed with a kind of nuance and understanding that is often hard for an author to find the right words for. I'm sure I've even written thing poorly here, and inevitably said something that will be hurtful to a person with a different perspective than my own. Sorry! But such is the reality of everyone being individuals, unfortunately. The things that bring some people comfort will cause other people distress.)

#thank you SO much for asking i love talking i never shut up #i typed up the end question and got mad and then i went back and typed more for other answers so now i am filled with manic glee instead #am i off my adhd meds? yes i am. i actually switched insurances and never gave my new info to my psychiatrist or pharmacy. last year #I'm starting to think that this might be affecting me. oh well I'm having a good time right now

3 notes · View notes

dragonsarecool · 5 months ago

Text

June of Doom Day 10 - Phone Call

A/N: Marty finds history repeating itself as he has to save the day once again…at age forty-seven. Set during the good timeline in 2015.

His shoulders sagged with annoyance as he set his guitar aside, his peaceful living room now disturbed by the godawful ringtone his kids had set up for him. "What now?!"

The irritation quickly faded, however, when Marty saw the caller ID and realised what time it was. "Junior?"

That's odd.

That's really odd.

Junior never calls…he's one of those kids who has to text everything.

Aw shit, was I supposed to do the school pick-up today?!

No hang on, it's Tuesday. They do the bus on Tuesday. So why isn't he home yet? It's after four thirty!

Realising he should probably answer the phone instead of staring at it, Marty tapped the screen and put it on speaker. "Kid, did you forget to tell me about another tutoring session, or-"

"DAD!" Junior blurted out, seemingly out of breath. "Dad, oh my God…please! HELP!"

"Junior?" Marty's mind was buzzing with a thousand questions, though he tried to push aside the initial confusion and uneasiness. "Junior, wh-what's going on?" He's never sounded this scared before…

"Dad, p-please! T-They're too…fast…for me!"

"Who?! What's going on, kid?!" Marty couldn't help the panic rising in his voice. "Talk to me, Junior!"

"Dad, Dad he-mmph!"

Junior's voice disintegrated into unintelligible mumbles, with the unmistakable sounds of a struggle sending chills down Marty's spine. "Junior! Junior, what's going on?"

The audio cracked as Junior's phone seemingly tumbled out of his grasp and slammed into the ground. Marty could hear muffled screams in the background, as well as a few people laughing and jeering. "Junior, are you there?!"

"What the hell is this?" A young male voice sneered through the phone. "Awww, did you try ringing daddy to come and get you? How lame is this butthead?!"

Butthead?

I knew that voice was familiar. "Griff!"

"Sorry, but, uh, McFly can't come to the phone right now. He's a bit wound up at the moment!" Griff mocked, laughing hysterically before hanging up.

It's 'tied up', you dork! That's what all the kidnappers on TV say!

The older McFly ran a wrinkled hand through his ever-thinning hair, biting back a barrage of curses he wanted to unleash. Why didn't he just call the police?! Why ring me first?

A grim part of him already knew the answer. The police don't care about dealing with Tannens.

And I was so hoping both of the kids wouldn't get caught up in this 'rivalry' bullshit…

He carefully placed his guitar back in its stand before snatching his keys from the dining table, racing to the car with a bigger stride than what he thought he could achieve at his age. Been a while since we've had a McFly-Tannen showdown…

****

At first, he'd been confused when Marlene had tried to introduce him to the Find My Friends app. "How does this thing find you friends? Don't you have to talk to people for that?"

"Dad, that's not what it means-"

"Well, what's the point of it then?!"

"Dad, it's just called Find My Friends. It's a tracking app, not a social media."

"And what exactly does it track?"

"You, us, Mom; whatever you want to track, really, but most people use it to track their family members and stuff."

Sounds a bit stalker-ish, but whatever. "Can't I just…email you if I need to know where you are?"

"First of all, Dad, that's texting, not email," Marlene rolled her eyes. "And it's so you can track us without having to talk to us."

"…So if you guys aren't back by curfew, I can see if you've been kidnapped or whatever?"

Marlene nodded. "Pretty much, yeah."

He wished he hadn't used those exact words, but as he pulled into a parking space outside his old high school, he was now grateful for the newfound knowledge. The crisp evening air made his body involuntarily tremble once he left the cosiness of his Toyota, and he pulled the collar of his turtleneck sweater up further. No wonder the place is deserted, it's frickin' freezing out here.

Okay, so the phone reckons he's still near the school, so they must've grabbed him just after class finished. Marty tried to zoom in on the app, only to curse quietly as he accidentally closed the map. Screw this technology crap; I'll have to rely on old-fashioned detective work.

If I was an asshole, where would I hide my victim?…

The high school and its surroundings had barely changed in the thirty years since he'd graduated, still retaining the dated brick exterior and faded basketball courts. And while it meant his kids complained about how 'ancient' the place was, it also meant all of the nooks and crannies he used to employ to rid himself of Needles still existed.

He found himself strolling through a particular section of the car park that seemed oddly familiar, and he couldn't quite put his finger on why; at his age, all the memories he had of this place tended to blend into a murky haze that he had trouble deciphering.

It wasn't until he gazed at the nearby gymnasium from a certain angle that it clicked; this parking spot was where his father had laid Biff out sixty years prior. Although the lines had been repainted and the nearby trees uprooted, it was enough to give him a fresh wave of deja vu. And that's where the Packard was…and the band's car…Damn, this is heavy.

A faint chorus of laughter caught his attention, pulling him out of the spiral of memories. He listened for a moment before following the sound, fists poised in his pockets in case they were needed. Following the sound took him to the far corner of the school grounds, where the barbed wire fence disappeared and a gate to the maintenance sheds awaited him. The laughter grew louder as he passed through the gate, passing by a collection of narrow alleyways littered with graffiti and overflowing rubbish bins. This must be where Needles did all that crack-

A familiar chuckle startled him, as did the voice. "What, you think you could say no to us?!"

Swallowing nervously, Marty hesitantly peeked his head around the nearest alley corner, his jaw falling open at the sight. Holy shit! Junior!

If he hadn't seen what Junior had been wearing that morning, Marty wasn't sure he could've identified him. His son was thoroughly surrounded by four teenagers who obscured most of his body; all Marty could confirm from this angle was that his hands were restrained behind him, and that Griff was struggling with him in a headlock.

Marty found himself marching down the alleyway without taking the time to think of a plan or an escape route, and he decided he didn't care. This ends now. "HEY!"

His glare softened as the group of teenagers parted at the sound of his voice, allowing him to finally make eye contact with his son. Junior's right eye was now a black and bloodied mess, which complimented the bruise forming along his jawline. A dried trickle of blood extended from one of his nostrils, which Marty prayed wasn't from a broken nose.

The final straw that made his blood boil, however, was seeing the piece of bloodied tape firmly pressed over Junior's mouth. T-This isn't bullying! This is borderline murder!

"Do you bastards mind getting off my kid?!" Marty growled. Hang in there, buddy-

Griff looked up, his expression rapidly changing as he eyed Marty and gave him a disrespectful smirk. "Hey, piss off, you old fart! This don't concern you!" He grunted rudely, releasing the headlock and roughly pulling Junior's head back by the hair. The Tannen sniggered heartlessly at the muffled cry of pain from his captive. "Hey dork, looks like your grandpa is gonna come save you! How pathetic is that?!"

The other teenagers joined Griff in a chorus of mocking laughter, gripping Junior's body tightly as he made a fresh but weak struggle against them, eyes pleading for Marty to intervene.

The senior McFly's composure stiffened as he stormed towards Griff, fists ready at his sides. "For the record, Tannen, I'm his father." How old these assholes think I am?!

"Phhf! We're just having a bit of 'fun' with McFly here, aren't we?" Griff moved Junior's head in a nodding motion, grinning sadistically as the smaller boy gave a pained expression. "See? No need for you to hang around, old man."

Time to try this old nugget again. "Yeah, it's all good fun and shit, Griff, but you're forgetting one thing. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"

Falling for the bait, Griff turned his head away long enough for Marty pull his arm back and launch his knuckles directly into the young Tannen's jugular. All four teenagers lost their grip on Junior as Griff tumbled backwards into the alleyway wall, head cracking loudly against the bricks. "GAHH!"

Predictably, Griff's 'friends' took one look at Marty before they instantly turned on their heels and sprinted down the alleyway at a speed that would've rivalled the best Olympians, stumbling as they glanced back in fear of Marty pursuing.

Marty used the opportunity to swoop in and grab Griff by the collar, his eyes ablaze with fury as he prayed this would be the last time he had to be this close to one of Biff's relatives. "I thought I told you dumbasses to get off my kid?"

"M-Message received, loud and clear, McFly," Griff stuttered, the macho persona having evaporated completely. "P-Perfectly-"

Marty wasn't satisfied. He lowered his voice for dramatic effect, praying that it would work for him as it did for Clint Eastwood. "Do I need to make sure the police hear about this? I'm sure they'd love to put you down for kidnapping, assault…might even be able to get you for attempted murder."

The remaining colour in Griff's face evaporated "N-No sir, n-no need n-needed-"

"This isn't gonna happen again, is it?" Marty lifted a finger for emphasis, pointing towards Junior. "Or do I need to have a talk with your old man about how much of a gutless chicken his son is, picking on smaller men than him?"

"N-No, Mister McFly, i-it won't-"

"Good talk, Tannen. Water under the bridge already," Marty casually let go of the teenager's collar, watching with amusement as he scrambled away like a frightened chicken, disappearing around the opposite corner to where his goons had fled. "Say hi to your pop for me!"

The older man let out a quiet chuckle as he cradled his hand. God, that stings more than I remember. Still worth it though.

"Mmmhmm!"

Oh crap! "Junior!"

Marty made a dash to his son's side, ignoring the protests of his ageing joints as he knelt on the ground. He grabbed him under the armpits and hauled Junior into a sitting position, his heart breaking as he saw the mistiness brewing in his son's eyes. "Hey hey hey, bud, it's okay. It's all over, those bastards are gone."

His eyes were drawn to the ugly piece of black tape sealing Junior's lips shut, and he suddenly remembered the last time he'd come home with a suspiciously-red face. "Is this how they've been beating you?"

Junior sniffed quietly and nodded, eyes cast downward in shame.

I guess it's easier than holding him down, but still… "Geez, what a creep," Marty growled. "Maybe I should tell his dad that Griff's got a thing for bondage and see how well that goes down."

His spirits lifted as Junior gave him a muffled laugh. Good to know his sense of humour is still intact. "Right, let's get all of this of you."

He forced his fingernails underneath the adhesive and ripped it away before Junior had time to blink. Marty cringed as his son groaned, as well as the reveal of red, raw skin around Junior's mouth. Good thing he hasn't grown any facial hair yet. "Did they hurt you anywhere else?"

The younger McFly took a moment to regain his voice, stretching his newly-freed jaw. "…Holy shit, Dad! That was amazing!" Junior's face was alight with admiration. "I didn't know you could fight like that!"

He was surprised at his son's reaction, though he kept that thought private as he inspected the ropes binding Junior's hands. I only punched him once, but still… "Givin' your old man some credit, huh?" Marty quipped. "Told you I used to be good."

"That was so cool though!" Junior shifted his position, making it easier for Marty to reach the knots. "I've never seen Griff act like a whimp before!"

As heartwarming as it was to have his son praise him, Marty decided it was time for answers. "What happened, Junior? Why'd they gang up on you like that?"

Junior gazed numbly at his lap, cheeks blushing as red as his jacket. "Um, well…that's kinda the second time today they've jumped me-"

"What?! Junior, what's-"

"It was in-between classes! T-They wanted me to help them with this 'heist' or whatever. Said they'd make it 'worth my while'," Junior blurted out bitterly.

This is sounding awfully familiar. "…And I'm guessing you said no?"

"Yeah. I, uh, I-I told them to go to hell the first time, a-and to leave me alone the second, but, uh," Junior shrugged his shoulders, gesturing at his current predicament. "They, uh, didn't like those answers."

So even in this timeline, he says no! That's my boy! Marty allowed himself a private smile before voicing his thoughts. "You mean, Griff didn't like your answers."

Junior blinked for a moment. "Oh. Yeah. His friends didn't say much about it; it was all him."

Marty shook his head, muttering as he fumbled with the knots. "They never change…"

"Who?"

"Biff. Needles. Griff. Despite the age gaps, they're all the same: cowardly idiots who use intimidation and violence to get people to do what they want," Marty explained. "Even in my workplace there's a few guys like that, though we don't go fighting each other like teenagers."

"So there's always gonna be people like them?!" Junior's voice carried a hint of despair. "Then what's the point?"

"The point is," Marty undid the last of his son's bonds, shoving the coil of rope into his pocket, "that you stood up to them. You didn't let them bully you into something you didn't wanna do. And I'm proud."

Junior stopped scratching the rope burns on his wrists, gazing at his father in surprise. "R-Really?"

"Really."

"B-But I couldn't fight them off! I-"

"Physical strength doesn't matter when it comes to bullies, Junior," Marty said gently, tilting Junior's face towards him. "They may be able to physically beat you, yes, but the one thing they cannot fight against is a victim who won't play along with their delusions. That's how your Grandpa George manage to win against Biff, Griff's dad, despite having the muscles the size of a twig. And it surprised the bastard enough to stay off of dad's back for good."

Geez, do I sound like a preacher or what?

Junior thought quietly for a few moments before nodding his understanding. "…T-Thanks again, Dad. F-For saving me."

"All good, kid. Just you wait until Grandpa George and I pay Griff and his dad a visit," Marty snickered, groaning as he hoisted himself and Junior up from the freezing pavement. "He'll be sorry he ever even looked at you."

Junior adjusted his cap before giving his father a questioning look. "Are you gonna kick his ass too?"

"Who? Biff?"

"Yeah!"

Marty snickered, his thoughts taking him back to the night of the Under the Sea Dance. "Nah. We broke his nose once and that was more than enough."

"Wait, seriously?!"

Shit. Probably shouldn't have said that. He shrugged off his overcoat and tucked Junior's shivering form into it. "Come on, kiddo. Let's get you cleaned up and get some ice for that eye, and then you can help me figure out which chord progression to use for this song I'm workin' on."

"Sweet!…But how the hell did you break his nose?!"

Marty wrapped an arm around his son's shoulders, pulling him in fondly. "I'll tell you when you're older, Junior."

You're gonna need a few drinks to make sense of it all, anyway.

#bttf #back to the future #whump #fanfiction #juneofdoom #june of doom 2024

6 notes · View notes

amberjazmyn · 7 months ago

Text

my love, my life

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - my love, my life

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - mentions of deaths of parents from cancer, the birth of a child and baptism of said child, non-religious mom and semi-religious dad, crying, abba music if that's a warning, medical inaccuracies when it comes to pregnancy, inaccurate mentions of coronavirus

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - with the lyrics of mamma mia's version of abba's song, "my love, my life", we see misha collins' younger sister, elouise collins o'shea and her husband, ollie, have their first child, a little girl called eleanor rebecca, who was born on the same day as and named after her grandmother rebecca tippens.

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - i've had this idea in my head for ages since i have always wanted to write something with the lyrics of "my love, my life" by abba since it's probs one of if not my absolute favourite abba song. as always, the lyrics will be in bold italics, any flashbacks or flashforwards will be in italics and year-stamped so it's not so confusing and present time of the literal baptism will be in regular font. also, just as a repeat newsflash, misha's parents, both of them, are still alive and well from knowledge. however, in this work of fiction, misha's mom rebecca and dad richard, are portrayed as passed on. also, i know misha's no longer with his ex-wife, vicki but, for the purposes of this story due to when it is first set timeline wise, misha and vicki are still together but, by the end of the story, it is then mentioned that they are no longer together like in real life since it was said that they divorced in twenty twenty-two when this particular storyline ends.

masterlist listen to "my love, my life" right here!

- - -

i've never felt this strong, i'm invincible, how could this go wrong?

december 28 | twenty twenty

elouise almost screamed but couldn't since she was back at her family home in boston, the rest of her family and her nieces and nephews in the loungeroom where her husband was. this couldn't have been the reason why elouise had been so ill recently, absolutely not was she pregnant and had been for a whole entire trimester already? there was absolutely no way that the positive pregnancy test in front of her and the messages from her obstetrician over the random boston hospital phone app that she had were telling her that she had spent the last twelve/fourteen weeks pregnant with her and her husband ollie's first child and had absolutely no idea whilst also going through the last year of her mother's life due to cancer- rebecca tippens succumbing to the horrific disease a couple of weeks ago, not even, on the fifteenth of this month.

but, it was absolutely true that elouise was pregnant with her first baby. and it was the fact that if only she found out even two weeks ago, she may have just made it in time to tell her mom about her newest grandchild. and that was what took elouise's strength and invincibility that she had built up since the death of rebecca from one hundred to zero with the click of a finger. elouise was panicking, she was bent over crying, her head resting on the bathroom sink as her iphone filmed the entire thing. she had taken the pregnancy test at first as a joke after vicki, misha's wife and elouise's sister-in-law, suggested it since vicki had recognised the way elouise was sick being the same way she was sick when she was pregnant with her and misha's first child, their eldest son, west anaximander. not once at all did elouise think she was pregnant, sure, she thought she was ill but she genuinely just thought that was due to the grief and stress she had put herself through after the death of her mom rebecca and the broken heart syndrome that her father, richard, had just recently received, a few days after supernatural's last season was announced.

no, here, here's where we belong, i see a road ahead i never thought i would dare to tread.

after elouise finished her freak-out, she realised that maybe, whilst it was a road she never thought she'd tread, it was a road she belonged driving on. wiping away her tears, elouise picked up the pregnancy test with her shaky hands and she smiled, turning the positive pregnancy test to the iphone camera as she started laughing.

whispering, she spoke up, "...ollie's going to freak the fuck out! oh my gosh, he's going to be so happy this said positive!" elouise giggled as she then looked down to her tummy which didn't even indicate a 12/14 week baby bump

elouise then realised because she was going into her second trimester, she was able to tell the rest of her family since there was now no longer any worry about her losing the baby. and then, she started crying all over again when she remembered misha and vicki. misha had always wanted his little sister to have a little baby and now, his dream was finally coming true. but, without their mom with them.

turning back to her iphone, elouise spoke up again, "i need to tell everyone! but what do i do? i can't just tell them..." elouise trailed off as she tried to think of what she could do to announce the pregnancy to the rest of her family and husband as she quickly pressed stop on her camera recording

that was when a knock sounded on her door and she almost screamed, however, the voice that followed was not who she thought it was, "...sorry, didn't mean to scare you el, it's just vicki here, are you okay? you've been in the bathroom for a while now, what did the test say?" breathing out in relief, elouise unlocked the door so her sister-in-law could let herself in

letting herself in, vicki closed the door and felt her heart sink when she saw her sister-in-law's teary face however, she wasn't ready for the scream that was to follow, "...i'm pregnant vicki!" elouise squealed out as loudly but also as quietly as possible as vicki's face lit up in excitement

"seriously? elouise, i didn't even mean to--"

"--no, don't apologise, vicki! it's a good thing that you recognised my symptoms as being the same ones you had when you were pregnant with west and maison! because i totally wouldn't have, not until i was giving birth anyway it seems like it..." elouise trailed off as vicki looked confused

"...what do you mean? you can't be that far along, could you?" vicki questioned as elouise nodded her head as vicki's eyes widened

"vic, i've been pregnant for an entire trimester...if only i found out earlier, i may have been able to tell mom..." elouise trailed off as vicki's face deflated as she moved closer to the younger blonde

"...oh, babe...elouise i am so sorry!" vicki's voice trembled as she pulled her sister-in-law in for a hug

like an image passing by, my love, my life, in the mirror of your eyes, my love, my life.

january | twenty twenty-one

elouise and ollie couldn't hide their excitement as they watched their ob-gyn do an ultrasound of their baby. after giggling over the coldness of the gel that the nurse had placed on her stomach, elouise was entranced by the image on the ultrasound screen. she couldn't believe that inside of her tummy was a growing human being. whilst it wasn't their first ultrasound of their baby, it was still something that blew the husband and wife's minds every single time they came in for a new scan.

"...mr and mrs o'shea, because of how many weeks the baby is, we are able to tell you guys the sex, is that something you want to know now or would you like to wait until the birth to find out?" the female ob-gyn questioned as elouise and ollie smiled, their excitement doubling

"may we know now?" elouise asked nervously, ollie nodding his head in agreement with his wife as the nurse smiled and nodded her own head in confirmation

"of course, you guys can! well, if you just look here, i can tell you that you are having a baby girl!" the ob-gyn was stoked to tell the new parents they were having a little girl, elouise and ollie were silenced by shock

thankfully though, they weren't silenced for too long as tears quickly slipped from the corner of elouise's eye that was closest to ollie as he wiped them away for her, "we're having a little girl, el! that's amazing, thank you, doctor!" ollie spoke up with excitement as the doctor smiled and nodded her head as she moved the probe across elouise's tummy a few more times

"my pleasure ollie and elouise, and i can already tell how loved this little munchkin is," she responded as she wiped off the residual gel that had stayed on elouise's tummy, allowing the soon-to-be mum to clean herself up properly

whilst the ob-gyn cleared her own station and led the o'shea's back to the reception desk with the little envelope with the pink piece of paper inside of it stating that their baby was a little girl, she couldn't help but feel her heart breaking for the way elouise reacted. it wasn't a secret that the collins' had just gone through a tragedy. it had been reported on by almost every single american and canadian gossip news site that misha collins and his family had lost their beloved mother, rebecca tippens. and it was obvious that finding out that elouise was now pregnant, not that long after the loss of her mom and now finding out it's a little girl would have been so conflicting and an added bag of emotions for the young girl to be carrying with her. the nurse just hoped that this child, this little girl would be the healing angel that elouise and the rest of her family needed to heal and to see the light at the end of the grieving.

and, turns out that the ob-gyn was correct, that little girl would be the healing angel that the entire collins/krushnic/tippens family needed.

i can see it all so clearly, all i love so dearly, images passing by, like reflections of your mind, my love, my life are the words i try to find, my love, my life.

february | twenty twenty-one

elouise smiled and waited patiently in the green room of an entertainment tonight interview alongside her brother's supernatural cast. she was going to announce publically, to the world, that she was pregnant after it had been rumoured. she was with the supernatural cast because the rumours had gotten so bad that the magazines and journalists had started asking the spn cast and their families about the rumours since elouise hadn't actually told any of them apart from misha and that was only because of the fact they are brother and sister. and because misha had actually found out accidentally whilst elouise was filming an ad for a clothing brand on her instagram. since elouise's last ultrasound scan when she and ollie found out she'd be having a little girl, she had blown up like a little balloon and was starting to show so, it had gotten somewhat harder to hide the bump however, she managed with an oversized white button-down with a flowy skirt. the button-down being tied at the base of her belly button which somehow hid the fact she was ballooning with her little pregnancy bump after not showing for over fourteen weeks.

"...on this evening's edition of entertainment tonight, we have my personal favourite guests in the world and they are the cast of supernatural and elouise collins o'shea. i interview them and i also find out what i'm being told is the best news in the entire world after this break so don't change this channel..." matt cohen, the interviewer announces as the cameraman then signs that it's a commercial break to which matt moves closer off his seat to speak with his former spn cast and elouise

as he spoke with his favourite guests, matt had a slight idea of what the younger girl's announcement could be but, again, he didn't want to pry nor did he wanna ruin the surprise for himself. so, he didn't even think about what the surprise announcement could even be. so, he continued his conversation like he always did, happy to catch up and also quickly sending his condolences to misha and elouise for the loss of their mom, rebecca, moments before they were back on air. misha and elouise thanked matt sweetly as they both smiled and readied themselves for the interview.

back on the air, matt smiled and introduced the segment before he handed it over to the spn cast and elouise, "...so, as i said before the break, i have the amazing cast of supernatural and the even more amazing, gorgeous young lady, elouise o'shea who is misha's little sister! so, guys, how have you all been? even though we did catch up a little during the commerical break, give us the gossip, what's been happening over lockdown?" matt questioned, getting excited as he noticed the way elouise seemed to be wanting to just already tell him and the rest of the supernatural cast and the world the big surprise news she was even in this interview for

"well, personally for the remaining supernatural cast, we've just been getting ready for our upcoming fifteenth and final season of supernatural. so, we're very very keen for everyone to see it. but, honestly, that's the only thing that's been different to what everyone else has been doing considering we've just been through lockdown just like everyone else has..." jensen chuckled as matt nodded his head and then smiled over to elouise so she could answer for herself

"...umm, personally for me, i've been writing some music in my little home studio and doing some self-tapes for some tv and movie auditions but, ollie, my husband and i also recently returned from our honeymoon since it was postponed. because, for those who weren't aware, ollie and i got married just at the very beginning of twenty-twenty so, right before covid kind of destroyed everything *giggles* and it was only in the last couple of weeks where we were able to safely have a little honeymoon a year later so we went to hawaii for a couple of weeks which was exciting..." elouise trailed off with a giggle as she had to stop herself from suddenly caressing her baby bump - a comfort thing she had since picked up ever since the belly had popped out of seemingly nowhere and instead placed her hands on the couch beside her

matt smiled sweetly with a head-nod, "...that's gorgeous, i mean, we have got some photos here and where you and ollie were staying just looks absolutely lush! but, obviously, you made sure you were completely covid safe and took all of the precautions *elouise nods her head* that's great. i'm glad you guys had so much fun considering it was still tainted due to the continuing worries of the pandemic..." matt trailed off as elouise nodded her head and smiled as she looked to misha with a cheeky smile as he couldn't hide his giggle

this, obviously, caught the attention of matt and the other costars so, he questioned it, "...what was that about, misha and elouise? care to share with the class? i feel like a teacher saying that but, care to share what's made you two giggle?" matt laughs himself as the collins siblings calm themselves down as misha speaks up

"i think elouise is just ready to reveal the surprise announcement. you see, my little sister can get quite impatient and can sometimes be close to ruining surprises if you make her wait for too long!" misha giggles as elouise shyly nods her head as matt's face relaxes and he smiles, nodding his head as the other costars are still considerably confused

"okay then elouise, come out with it. what is this big surprise announcement that you are so eager to tell us..." matt was being cheeky as elouise bit her lip as misha gripped her hand tightly and she just came out with it

and, truthfully, this was not the surprise annouoncement that matt or jared, jensen and alex thought it was going to be, "...i'm pregnant with me and ollie's first baby..." elouise trailed off, finally allowing her hands to cradle the growing baby bump, misha's hand moving back to his lap as he bit his lip to stop his smile from getting any bigger and stupid

it was silent which freaked elouise and misha out but, it didn't last for too long when matt cheered and stood up. ignoring the fact that he really shouldn't have pulled the newly pregnant woman in for a hug in regular non-covid times. but, especially now due to corona but, he'd known this girl since she was a kid when misha first introduced them to each other before matt was even a news anchor for entertainment tonight. giggling, elouise hugged the floridian host back before she moved out of the hug so she could sit back down as the other three, jared, jensen and alex were in shock at the surprise announcement. they genuinely had no idea that their costar's little sister was pregnant. they knew she had been unwell ever since the loss of her mom, rebecca, but never did they think it was because junior collins was pregnant. but now, it made so much sense to them, especially when they remembered the way vicki immediately rushed up the stairs at the slight sound commotion heard by her from the upstairs bathroom to the right on that day that the three guys came to realise as the day that elouise found out she was pregnant.

jared was the first one out of the three to stand up and pull his costars' sister in for a hug as she giggled, "...congratulations, elouise! you've been pregnant this whole time?" jared whispered as elouise giggled and nodded her head

"yeah, this whole time!" elouise giggled as jensen and alex joined seconds later in an excited group hug as misha watched on

thankfully the hug didn't last too long and matt started to just focus on this new announcement and asked all the questions, "so, elouise, how long have you been pregnant for? because from what it looks like, it looks like you've got a little bit of a bump," matt smiled as elouise smiled sweetly and nodded her head, caressing her little bump

"i found out i was pregnant on the twenty-eighth of december so, not that long after christmas and not that long after misha and i lost our mom. however, i had been pregnant for a whole trimester before finding out that day. so, if i had found out earlier, i may have had the chance of telling this wonderful news of another grandchild to my mom..." elouise trailed off as her smile stayed strong and didn't falter

"...aw, love. do you know the sex of the baby or, is that something you and ollie want to keep a secret until the birth?" matt asks cautiously as elouise nods her head, her smile growing wider as misha was now in shock, he wasn't told the sex and neither, obviously, were the other three

"yes, we do but, the surprise will be for these four, they'll need to wait until the birth but, matt, if you really can't wait that long, i can whisper it to you?" elouise giggled at the end as matt's eyes lit up as he nodded his head, not caring this was live television

matt stood up as elouise followed, grabbing the new's anchor's hands and whispering it to him, matt, if he wasn't on live television, could have burst out into tears but he managed to hold them off, "...congratulations, elouise! oh, this baby is already so loved!" matt whispered back after elouise revealed that she and ollie were having a little girl

"thank you, matt, this baby is so loved," she whispered back as they sat back down

the interview continued even though the excitement of elouise and ollie's pregnancy took over and was still a big topic of discussion on everyone's lips, they continued to mention other things that were also supposed to be talked about. like the details of supernatural's finale season that jensen mentioned and the songwriting and auditions that elouise had mentioned she'd been doing as well.

but i know i don't possess you, with all my heart, god bless you, you'll be my love and my life. you're my one and only.

present time | twenty twenty-two

elouise was running around everywhere like a headless chicken as ollie and their little baby girl stood watching. elouise was trying to sort everything out but wasn't able to due to the way she was so manic about it and, ollie called her out over it.

"...babe, babe, ELOUISE...darling, you won't be able to sort everything out before little one's baptism if you continue to be so manic over it!" ollie chuckled at the end as elouise finally stopped herself and nodded her head in agreement

"sorry babe, it's just..."

"...yeah, i get it, it's hard that she's not here but, just remember who still is here. i'm here babe, you're here, our little one is here. if you keep on freaking out, you won't be able to get anything done..." ollie trailed off before continuing

"...i know your mom wasn't so sure about our future children getting baptised into the catholic church, but the irish catholic church more specifically. but, it's truly only because of the fact that her daddy's irish and, if my own mammy wasn't so insistent, i would have also said no to this happening. but, because i'd get me arse kicked, i compromised...we compromised and said our children would only get baptised and if they so chose to be religious as they got older, they could choose..." ollie smiled as he wrapped his arms around elouise as she smiled and nodded her head

her husband was correct. the only reason why their one-year-old was getting baptised into the irish catholic church at a year old was because of the little girl's irish lineage due to her father being fully born and raised in ireland. because originally, not only elouise but ollie himself was unsure about their children being baptised when it wasn't really a thing that exisited in his wife's family.

"...so, el, what is it you need to get done before we leave?" ollie was calm and he was collected and that was truly one of the reasons why elouise fell in love with him because he always balanced out her impulsiveness and her anxiety-induced living

and, when it came to responding to her husband's question, elouise had no idea how to respond, "umm, i actually don't know..." and that was because everything that needed to be done had already been done so this very situation wouldn't happen even though it was going to happen anyway because it always did

"...thought so, and it's because everything has already been done! we should be in the car driving to the church right now for this one's christening but, because i already suspected that this was going to happen, i rang up the priest in advance just in case. so, your welcome baby, now can we make out way out of this house and to the church, please?" ollie tilted his head to the side with a cheeky smile as elouise opened and then closed her mouth and smiled, shaking her head

"thanks, ollie. i'd really be losing the plot if i didn't have you with me," elouise whispered as she moved closer to her husband and daughter, her lips almost caressing her husband's face as he pulled away with a chuckle

"not here babe, we need to go watch our daughter's christening and your welcome and i too would lose the plot if i didn't have you with me," ollie spoke as the husband and wife left it at that with their conversation and made it out of their house to their car

on their drive to the church for their daughter's christening into the irish catholic chruch, which would be photographed by people magazine, elouise felt a calm rush over her. her husband was right, she should really stop making her focus be on those who she no longer has with her. even though it included her parents, rebecca and richard, richard lost his battle with broken heart syndrome ten months after rebecca, a couple of months after elouise had given birth to her and ollie's little girl.

i held you close to me, felt your heart beat and i thought: i am free. oh yes, and as one are we in the now and beyond, nothing and no one can break this bond.

may | twenty twenty-one

elouise hadn't felt this kind of pain in her life before but, it was a pain that she was sure she never wanted to feel again...even if it meant she never gave her daughter any more siblings. but, in all truthfulness, this pain was surely going to be forgotten about any moment when she...

...hears the cries of her little baby girl for the very first time...

"...here's your little girl, elouise and ollie. isn't she just gorgeous?" hayley, elouise's midwife and smiled as she handed over the baby girl as elouise choked down a happy sob, her arms cradling her baby girl as though it was a regular instinct - as if in a past life elouise had been a mother before

"she's beautiful, oh my goodness, we made this baby, ollie!" elouise turned to her husband who smiled tearfully as he nodded his head

"yeah we did babe, we made out little miracle, babe!" ollie sniffled, wiping away a tear with his shoulder as he slowly sat himself down on the edge of the hospital bed, his hand reaching up to touch the top of his newborn's head

"wow...we're parents, ollie. we actually have our little family! we have our little dog, our husky girl bambi and now we have our little eleanor rebecca..." elouise trailed off, tears hitting her eyes as she realised she had just said the name of her baby girl out loud for the first time

and it made both ollie and hayley smile, "...so, is eleanor rebecca this little pretty's name?" she asked, rolling her wheely chair towards the computer to write up the birth certificate as both parents, elouise and ollie nodded their heads

"yeah, eleanor rebecca is her name...rebecca for her middle name since that's her grandmommy's name and because they were born on the same day and eleanor as her first name since it's my middle name," elouise explained as hayley nodded her head, knowing the significance of the little girl's name

"that's beautiful, elouise. however, because little eleanor rebecca is earlier than her due date in august, we do have to place her in an incubator, however, once she reaches a certain weight, she'll be able to leave. is that all okay?" hayley asks, knowing how daunting it can be from being so happy with your newborn in your arms to them then being taken away to a different room

and elouise and ollie smiled, both understanding that they couldn't hold onto their little girl forever like many other mommies and daddies who had their babies on time, "absolutely fine, hayley. thank you for telling us, we'll be glad to hear that she'll be able to gain some more weight since she is really tiny," elouise spoke up, only now realising just how tiny their little eleanor was as ollie too only realised

"wonderful, well, if you two want to, we can either have the grandparents and godparents meet little eleanor in here or we can place her in the incubator and have them meet her in there. which would you prefer?" hayley then asks as elouise and ollie smile, they could choose how their family meet their little bundle of joy

"we can choose?" ollie choked out in shock as hayley giggled and nodded her head with a smile, making elouise and ollie smile

"absolutely you can! however, if you do want for them to meet eleanor in here, it can only be for five minutes per person before i'd have to then take her and place her into an incubator a couple of floors above us. is that okay?" hayley questioned as ollie and elouise nodded their heads straight away

"that's absolutely fine, hayley! we just want them to see her, they've waited for so long already, i feel selfish enough making them wait whilst we have this conversation," elouise giggled as hayley nodded her head and encouraged ollie to fetch his parents, eleanor's grandparents and the godparents, who were obviously misha, elouise's older brother and jared and genevieve padalecki since misha was no longer married to vicki, his now ex-wife.

so, that's what ollie did, like the proud husband and father he was, he wiped away his tears with a tissue. placed it in his jeans pocket, gave a kiss to his two girls and rushed down the hallway to announce the happy news.

like an image passing by, my love, my life, in the mirror of your eyes, my love, my life. i can see it all so clearly, images passing by

june | twenty twenty-one

the last time elouise sat in an interview with matt cohen, she was in the second trimester of her pregnancy with her little eleanor rebecca and now, she was just a month gone from giving birth to the little girl. since it was the twenty-ninth of june, this interview today was.

and, in the audience, slightly behind the camera was her husband ollie, their little girl eleanor and eleanor's godparents misha, the padaleckis and the rest of eleanor's uncles and aunties who were jensen and danneel and other spn cast members watching the solo interview.

with the show on the air, matt introduced his guest, "...on today's show, i have my favourite guest on the show. you know her pretty well because the last time i interviewed her, it just felt like yesterday when it february, only a few months ago, she announced her first pregnancy with her husband on live television with her brother's supernatural cast...it's only elouise collins o'shea sitting with me today on our brand new couches everybody!" matt introduced as that earned a lot of applause as elouise giggled and applauded

"haha, thank you for that wonderful introduction matt, it's great to be back being interviewed by you and on this new couch, oh my goodness, so comfy!" elouise giggled after pulling out from the hug matt pulled her into as she sat back down, crossing her right leg over her left, slanting them to the side

"isn't it so comfy? i'd sleep on these couches if i could *giggles*. oh my goodness, it is so lovely to see you again and to catch up since, like already mentioned, the last time you were here, you announced that you were pregnant with you and your husband's first baby. and then just after that we spoke only briefly during my interview with misha at the end of may since you were in the background and you were just about to pop weren't you?" matt pointed and brought it back to rest on his lip as elouise giggled and nodded her head

"yes, i was about to pop! literally hours from giving birth *giggles* so, my due dat was originally in august of this year so, in two months...one month basically. but, no, the little one said absolutely not mommy, get me out of here now! *giggles* and i had to be induced and have the c-section to get her out and, she was a preemie baby but, thankfully she gained weight pretty quickly and within a couple of weeks i think, we were able to bring her back home with us," elouise nodded as she smiled as matt smiled as well

"aw, isn't the little one just gorgeous, falling asleep in daddy's arms," matt cooed, his eyes captured by the little sleeping girl as elouise's eyes followed and she nodded her head with a small giggle

"i know, i still can't believe she's ours. like, i was fine with just having our little husky, bambi for a little while before starting to try. but, apparently, we didn't even need to try," elouise giggled as matt and the audience giggled as well

"seems as though you didn't *giggles* but, back to this little bundle of joy because, you and ollie have obviously picked out a name for her, but, it's quite a special name, isn't it? would you like to tell us what the name of your beautiful little girl is?" matt introduced, even though he was already told, he was still hanging to see how the rest of the audience (minus the family who of course already knew) was going to react

"of course i can, matt. so, our little baby girl's name is eleanor rebecca o'shea *coos* and the reason why she is called eleanor rebecca is that one, eleanor, her first name, is my middle name and two, rebecca, her middle name, is the name of misha and i's mom. we also came up with that name ages ago not even thinking what day eleanor was going to be born on either..." elouise trailed off as matt smiled

"...so, what day was little eleanor born on, may i ask, elouise?" matt questioned as his eyes sparkled with excitement as elouise smiled, her concentration going to the very little girl and her brother who was teary

"she was born on the twenty-ninth of may, the same day as her grandmother, rebecca," elouise smiled, her own tears building in her eyes, managing to will them away as matt's face relaxed and he smiled sweetly

"aw, that is so special and that is crazy because that was the same day we saw you for the last time briefly in my interview with misha, elouise. so, you were moments away from popping!" matt smiled, a still of his zoom interview with misha and just a little peak of six-month about to give birth pregnant elouise

"i know, it was absolutely terrifying as well matt because it was like, the second your guys' interview finished, my contractions started. and bam, misha, myself and ollie were off to the hospital and after trying to have eleanor naturally, my midwife, hayley, came back to us and said we had to c-section because eleanor wasn't in the right position since she was so small. so, the only other safe way to get eleanor out and delivered alive was to have her c-sectioned and i'm forever grateful that we did do the c-section otherwise i wouldn't have my little love," elouise explained as matt smiled and nodded his head, the audience watching in awe

aw, bless. and speaking of the little one, how old is she now?" matt questioned as elouise's eyes widened, how old was her daughter? what day was it? was today the twenty-ninth or the thirtieth of june?

"uhh, shoot, what day is it today?" elouise asked in a hilarious panic as misha reached for his phone

"it's the twenty-ninth, el!" shouting back to his sister, elouise metaphorically clutched her pearls, grateful that her in-head counting was indeed correct along with the finger counting she hadn't been so secretive with as she liked

"oh, thank god! she is a month old! oh my goodness, i didn't count wrong!" elouise could only giggle at her baby brain in the same way she laughed over her brothers, ex-sister-in-law's as well as the rest of the spn family's baby brains when the ones that did had their children

"wow, she's already a month? that's crazy how time flies, soon it'll be two!" matt was in shock as elouise nodded her head and she turned after hearing the crowd coo in aw only to see a photo elouise had posted of the day she, ollie and little eleanor left the hospital

"i know, don't start me off, matt. it makes me so emotional that she's already a month!" elouise giggled as she turned back from the photo back to matt to continue the interview

the interview continued on smoothly, except for a couple of times when eleanor cried out for her mommy. the second time ollie had apologetically brought up the little one so she could be held by her mommy for the rest of the interview. where in which she stayed silent the rest of the interview, content in her mommy's arms, her tiny little hands gripping tightly to her mommy's pinky finger.

like reflections of your mind, my love, my life, are the words i try to find, my love, my life. but i know i don't possess you, with all my heart, god bless you.

present time | twenty twenty-two

walking into the irish catholic church with her little bundle of joy, her little eleanor rebecca, elouise was happy. she was content and she was in peace. even though none of her family, including her parents, rebecca and richard, weren't so sure on the irish catholic baptism of their granddaughter, it was still upsetting that they weren't there to witness it. because whilst they weren't really wanting it, like elouise and ollie weren't, they wouldn't have disrespected the event because they knew that it was a compromise made by the parents and grandparents of eleanor that she would be baptised and if she got older and wanted to go further in the religion or not, she had that choice to. but, honestly, elouise had truly made peace with that ages ago, way before the situation in the house had happened before they left. it was truthfully just a moment of vulnerability for elouise and she had no other way of describing it other than her missing her parents, her mom especially.

in her flowing champagne-coloured wrap dress, elouise held her daughter as eleanor's christening dress overwhelmed her because of how big it was. elouise held her as she walked through the hall of the church and towards the priest, her husband ollie and eleanor rebecca's godparents, misha and the padalecki's, jared and genevieve.

elouise smiled in a joy that could have only been described as overwhelming. she knew every single person in this church: first, her brother misha and his two beautiful now grown-up children, west and maison; the padalecki family, jared and geneiveve and their three gorgeous kids, thomas, shep and odette and last but not least, the ackles family, jensen and danneel and their three beautiful kids, jj, zeppelin and arrow. and that was just the "main" supernatural family, there was no use in introducing every single guest and their families and their plus ones that sat in this church for eleanor rebecca o'shea's christening. however, it just really reiterated to elouise how loved this little one-year-old baby girl was to so many people that weren't her direct family.

elouise basked in the flashing lights from the photographers but made sure to still shield little eleanor's face just in case the lights still frightened her like they used to. however, in a cheeky, sly move, the little one-year-old smacked her mommy's hand away and seemed to stare right down the barrel of one particular photographer's camera. of course, this shocked both mom and dad but also made them snicker at the same time as elouise then looked up and blood rushed to her ears in an instant.

elouise couldn't help the blank, emotionless stare she shared towards the female photographer that little eleanor had also seemed to be entranced by. it was just that...the young photographer looked scarily similar to her mom, rebecca tippens. that was until the young girl had completely morphed into elouise's mother and the young mom was glad she didn't completely drop her little eleanor rebecca herself.

it obviously scared the crap out of elouise that she was the only one that was seeing her own mother in this female photographer but, she continued to zone out until a little side tap from her husband, ollie. it was only then that elouise fazed out from the void she was in and noticed that the young female photographer no longer looked like her mom and continued to photograph the christening. little eleanor rebecca taking a liking to the girl.

"...oi, el, babe, what was that all about? you okay?" ollie later questioned as he held eleanor rebecca after they finished the walk back up to the church foyer now that eleanor rebecca had been christened

"yeah...yeah, i'm fine babe. just, that female photographer, the one with brown hair looked scarily similar to mom, that's all..it seemed as though little eleanor rebecca thought so too..." elouise shook her head and rubbed her eyes, feeling like she was going insane as ollie smiled, gently kissing his wife's golden hair

"...i thought i was the only one who noticed that. she did look so much like your mom, i secretly hoped she'd do the dramatic movie reveal thingy, coming out with the dramatic news that she was your long-lost sixth sibling," ollie chortled as elouise cackled, her head shaking

"oh shut up, ollie...she is not our long-lost ninth sibling, you utter doofus. besides, the more i looked at her afterwards, i saw the differences that truly sold it to me that she wasn't anyone in the family that we should have been told about," elouise giggled as she grabbed eleanor rebecca from him as ollie nodded his head

"okay, that's good to know babe, i'll be back in a moment, i promised misha and the kids that i'd touch base with them after the christening, see you soon darling, i miss my two girls already!" ollie shouted after he had left his two girls with kisses to their heads as that allowed the padalecki's to swoop in to have a conversation with the mother and newly christened daughter

"...hey, jared and gen! tom, shep and odette! did you three behave?" elouise lit up in excitement, hugging all five of them as the kids nodded their heads to their aunty elouise

"they behaved exceptionally well, elouise, they were quiet the whole entire time. and, also, just a quick note, did you notice the female photographer right at the front that looked ridiculously like your mom?" gen whispered at the end, just in case she felt like she was insane as elouise giggled and nodded her head

"good to hear they behaved and, yes, i did and so did little eleanor rebecca. did you see the way she smacked my hand away when that lady's camera started flashing?" elouise giggled as gen and jared both nodded their heads

"it was absolutely bizarre, i thought i was going crazy when i turned around to see her," jared spoke up this time as elouise nodded her head in agreement

"i thought so too! i then had that weird moment where after looking at her for too long, she actually turned into mom which was even weirder. but, i then saw the things that was the reminder that she wasn't my mom," elouise giggled as she bopped eleanor rebecca up on her hip higher since she started to slip

the padaleckis stayed to chat with elouise and eleanor rebecca until daddy had come back from his conversation with brother and the niece and nephew, misha, west and maison and happily picked up eleanor rebecca when she reached out for him. allowing elouise to build up her arm strength again after feeling like they were going to fall off.

you are still my love and my life, yes i know i don't possess you. with all my heart, god bless you, you are still my love and my life

present time | twenty twenty-two

elouise softly started to sing the song that was playing during the mamma mia: here we go again movie when she finally looked up from playing with eleanor rebecca and realised the song she had been singing the entire time...

...she had been singing along to my love, my life without even consciously realising it whilst the entire christening scene of sophie and sky's baby was going on during the duration of the song. and it reminded elouise of eleanor rebecca's christening that had just happened the day before. it was sort of ironic because the scene that was playing in front of her was the exact same scene that played in elouise's head when she saw that female photographer that looked ever so similar but yet still so different to her mother.

she then grabbed her phone and quickly put together a little instagram post dedicated to her little girl, her love and her life: eleanor rebecca.

liked by ollieoshea, misha, jaredpadalecki, jensenackles, genpadalecki and 9k others

elouisecollinsoshea you're my one and only eleanor rebecca 🤍

view all 8k comments

ollieoshea my two beautiful girls 🤍

elouisecollinsoshea ollieoshea my beautiful man 🤍

misha absolutely gorgeous 🤍

elouisecollinsoshea misha thank you mish🤍

jaredpadalecki pretty baby girl 🤍

elouisecollinsoshea jaredpadalecki isn't she just jared 🤍

jensenackles eleanor rebecca is gorgeous, elouise 🤍

elouisecollinsoshea jensenackles i mean, her parents are also gorgeous so it makes sense

genpadalecki beautiful baby and baby momma 🤍

elouisecollinsoshea genpadalecki truth has been told 🤍

mattcohen4real eleanor rebecca is beautiful, elouise 🤍

elouisecollinsoshea mattcohen4real thank you, matt! she is truly everything i could have dreamt of for my first baby 🤍

- - -

and this is finished! woo, what a fun time writing this but it was difficult! i am also kind of proud of the kind of mamma mia/elouise moment i added in there but, i think it could have for sure been written better, right now, i like it. also, just to reiterate, misha's parents are alive and well from what we know! and also, i totally made up the fact that matt cohen has his own tv show but whatever!

ok ily bye

wc; 7337

#supernatural cast #misha collins x ofc younger sister elouise collins #jared padalecki #jensen ackles #alexander calvert #fluff but with angst if that makes sense #mattcohen #danneel ackles #genevieve padalecki

2 notes · View notes

asydicsydney · 2 years ago

Text

I was just remembering how Carlos said he could catch Cecil's broadcasts in the Desert Otherworld, but that they were sometimes from the past or future.

Anyway here's a very inaccurate fic I just cranked out with that premise.

I haven't eaten or drunk anything in days. Although I'm not sure I need to anymore, really. I also haven't heard his voice in days. I was so accustomed to slacking on work when his show came on, punishing myself for it later on with all the all nighters, such a welcome escape from reality while I assured my team I was simply using my resources wisely for finding new issues around town. His voice could slip into the air around me and dig out my deepest secrets. A prize only for him, but one of which he knew nothing of. Even after a year of dating and moving in with each other, you can't know someone's deepest secrets. It would take a lifetime to know someone that well. And we would never get a lifetime, all because I went through that stupid door. Carlos, 'the man who can't stop sciencing even during a capitalistic uprising'. My team definitely owes me those 5$.

I've managed to find a wire hanger sticking out of a cactus. I bent it into an antenna-like shape and stuck it in the top of my phone. I couldn't do any damage to it anyway, maybe I could do some good, find a signal.

Yes! Oh, sweet radio waves, how I missed you! Now, if I go to my NVCR app I might catch him on the air... Unless it's his lunch break, or the weather, or it's 2AM and he's pretending to sleep. Oh, I forgot to turn my volume up.

"-has a square jaw, and teeth like a military cemetery. His hair is perfect, and we all hate, and despair, and love that perfect hair in equal measure."

Is he waxing poetic about me again? Eh, at least he still thinks of me.

"-had come to study just what is going on around here. He grinned, and everything about him was perfect, and I fell in love instantly."

Aww, he sounds exactly the same as when...

He sounds exactly the same...

Did I just go back in time?

No no no no no, this must not be tuned right, I'll just-

"And here I remind you that he became trapped there while saving our city from treacherous, dark forces. I remind you he is a hero. I remind you that my boyfriend is-"

Wait! No no, go back! That sounded like the right frequency... Where are we now?

"-and Carlos. I'm proud to call you family."

Steve? Family?

"I said once that a home is just a group of objects connected by a shared personal experience of time. Which was just a fancy way of asking you to move in with me. And it worked."

Now I'm talking? Am I talking to Cecil? Where on the timeline is this?

"In other words, changing the story about you or the story about me into a story about us."

I- what? I'll-I'll just sit down for awhile and listen. Not like an oak door will just show up anyway.

"And now, tonight, I say I'm glad again, for this decision and all the decisions that will come every day after. Which is to say-"

Is this really?

"I just thought that it was time for us to make a life together."

Us? Did.. we? R-really? And of course it's on air. Oh, Cecil, babe! We did it! Wait, that means-

"-knowing that Carlos was there, that no matter what else happened we would come back to each other-"

I made it home.

"I know nowhere friendlier. I know nowhere hotter. The moon is still beautiful, mysterious lights still pass overhead."

I really made it home.

"Stay tuned next for a drunk, newly married couple, long after all the well-wishers have left, pilling up bags of garbage-"

I'm gonna make it, Cecil.

"And good night, Night Vale, and every person who can hear my voice. Good night."

I'll make it home on time. I promise.

#wtnv #cecilos #carlos the scientist #desert otherworld #wtnv fanfic

26 notes · View notes

engagemachine · 1 year ago

Note

This is totally random but can you imagine Taylor doing a cute little tik tok about an outfit she really likes because she sees videos like that all the time, and the Joker sees men commenting on her video, would he make her take it down?

Um, first of all, OMG. This ask has been living rent-free in my brain ALL FREAKING DAY. I couldn't wait to come home to answer it.

Secondly, it hadn’t really ever occurred to me that Taylor might have a TikTok, mostly because I imagine the timeline of Burn to be like, idk… 2010? Maybe? I don’t ever specify the year because I don’t want to pigeonhole myself in a box in terms of what I can reference in regards to the media and with regard to current events -- and ultimately it's not terribly important to the plot, anyway....

but for the sake of this headcanon, we'll say Taylor does have a TikTok, mostly because our baby girl just wants to be SEEN, okay, so her very first video is a little try-on video of some really cute outfit she's thrifted -- she's so proud of her thrift store finds -- and she posts the video and is so excited every time she receives a notification for a comment. Her heart gives an excited little pulse as she opens the notification...

Some of the comments are from other girls. "OMG SO cute" and "love it", but then she's biting down on her lip and her cheeks are flushing when she reads the comments from men -- usually much older ones, if their pictures are anything to go by.

Some of the comments are pretty benign. "Pretty" and "beautiful young lady" and "whats your snap" -- but some of the comments are a lot more detailed. More graphic.

In the video, she's spinning to show off her new skirt, and in one comment she's told to take off her panties next time, then bend over. Another comment says, "tight little body" and, to her mortification, another that simply reads, "so fuckable". She reads further down the list, feeling horrified -- ashamed -- as more comment notifications ping on her phone. "wanna lick you from top to bottom", "fucking tease. she knows what she's doing", and "saving this for later" with a yellow 'thumbs up' emoji.

It sends a flurry of emotions fluttering in her tummy. Nathan had always told her she was ugly -- worthless -- and only Mr. J had ever really made her feel special. Pretty.

But now all these other men are complimenting her, too, and she doesn't really know how to feel about it. A part of her is secretly -- maybe horrifically -- a little pleased. But another much bigger part of her feels disgusted with herself. She hadn't meant to show off her body. She hadn't meant to do anything, really, she just thought her outfit was cute. Is it so bad to have wanted that? To want to be seen?

Later, she lies in bed curled up on her side, reading every comment under the safety of the covers, just in case Mr. J walks in. She doesn't want him to see. He'd be so angry if he knew.

The comments trickle in slowly over a period of a few more days. The video has a little over a thousand views, which Taylor thinks is a lot, especially for a first video.

But then, a few days later, the video is abruptly gone, and she realizes she's been locked of her account.

"What the heck?" she murmurs, once again tucked under the warm cavern of her covers, even though Mr. J isn't home and probably won't be for a few hours.

She sits up in bed, untangling herself from the sheets. Her face is shrouded in the white light from her phone as she retypes her password, five times and then seven, before finally searching for her account on the app, but it's gone. Like it was never even there.

She pouts about it for the whole next day. She had 143 followers, which isn't a lot, but she was thinking about posting more videos, and now she can't unless she makes another account, and what's the point now that all of her followers are gone? She'd have to start all over from scratch.

Mr. J notices her sour mood after a whole day of sulking around the house, because of course he notices. He corners her in the hallway during the late afternoon. The TV's on in the living room, a quiet murmur, and blades of orange sunlight slice through the half-opened blinds, long tiger stripes stretching across the carpet. Taylor tries to move past Mr. J -- not in the mood to talk -- but he grips her by her chin, his long fingers digging into her jaw as he forces her to look at him.

"Not that I'm uh, not enjoying this sweet, pouty little face of yours," he says, his thumb briefly stroking along the line of her jaw, "but what's got my girl's panties in such a twist? Hm?"

Taylor flushes, knowing that she can't explain. "It's nothing," she says, looking away, because it's so hard to lie to him.

Mr. J's brows arch into his hairline, which would almost be comical if she weren't toeing the borderline of fear. There's no way she's getting out of this without telling him. He always gets his way.

"Doesn't seem like nothing," he says. "Seems like a whole lot of something."

Taylor reaches up with both hands to try to pry his hand off her face, but he doesn't budge, only grips tighter, briefly smushing her cheeks together with his fingers.

"Alright!" she cries.

He releases his grip, but only slightly.

"Alright," she says again, this time softer. "It's just... I posted a video, okay? On--online, and it got taken down and I don't know why! I didn't even do anything wrong."

She pauses to take a breath, then nervously glances up into Mr. J's black, steely eyes.

"A video," he says, almost a question, but not quite. His expression is eerily calm. Unreadable. Taylor squirms under his gaze, wishing he'd let go of her jaw already, which is starting to ache.

"I was just trying on clothes. It wasn't anything like--"

"You were trying on clothes?" he repeats, interrupting her, and Taylor feels a lightning bolt of fear splice through her.

"No!" she cries. "I mean, I--I was, but I wasn't naked. I was already dressed. I was just--just showing off my outfit. That's all, Mr. J, I swear--"

"And what exactly were you, uh--" he pauses to work his mouth, his tongue briefly snaking out to wet his lower lip, "hoping to gain out of 'showing off'?"

Taylor swallows nervously, her eyes darting back and forth between his. The sun in the living room window behind him has dipped lower, and those tiger stripes elongate even further across the carpet, stretching all the way until Taylor can feel the warmth of the beams on her bare toes.

"Daddy isn't paying enough attention to you, is that it?" he says, before Taylor has a chance to answer. "You felt like you had to go online -- when I veeeery ex-plic-it-ly told you not to -- to parade yourself around for everyone to see? For everyone to see what's mine?"

Taylor whimpers, because he's squeezing her jaw and cheeks so hard it hurts.

"I--I'm so sorry, Mr. J. It wasn't like that," she whimpers. "I didn't think--"

"No," he agrees. "You didn't." She stares at him, trembling, and watches his nostrils flare. His gaze is somewhere behind her--just for a moment--just long enough for her to know he's eyeing the mussed sheets of their empty bed through the open door of their bedroom. "Well," he says, after a long, loaded pause, allowing his dark eyes to settle back on her, "if it's attention you're after, daddy'll give it to you."

Suddenly, he shoves her backwards--still holding onto her, so she doesn't fall--as he forces her to stumble backwards into their bedroom. His eyes are dangerous. Feral. "Daddy'll give you plenty."

#anonymous #asks #Burn #Taylor #I have SEEN the comments men leave on TikTok videos and they are truly APPALLING #these are really just the tip of the ice-berg #anyway #mini fic #DIDN'T PROOFREAD THIS idk I wrote this all in one siting hope it doesn't suck

14 notes · View notes

call-sign-shark · 1 year ago

Text

I think I’ve never wanted to beat the shit out of Tommy so bad, Dark!Tommy aside. You have a real talent to stir emotions in your reader and I am not even joking. That’s a real skill you’re mastering, Brummie! Now I’m going to analyze it but my apologize for the wobbly comment — I’m on my phone at work and cannot copy/paste on the app for God knows the reason.🙄 Also: TAG ME BABE. On everything you write please.

I must say that the way you explore Y/N’s feelings towards Tommy is beautiful. You’ve managed to create such a complex relationship between them, full of unsaid things, grudge but also genuinely passionate. What I love the most is how we know they love each other, especially Y/N who never stopped being hopelessly loyal to Tommy even after he started to act as a real douche with her, but still don’t allow to forgive /or to understand the other. In this situation I think Y/N is being the more mature one and it’s sincerely heart wrenching to see her taking the blows from Tommy, Grace and now literally with the Kimber Boys. She always endure until, at one point, I fear she’ll break. That poor girl really deserve a man who would take care of her and give her the love she needs. She’s so pure and her devotion is painful to see. She’s slowly exhausting herself to please that bastard. 🙄 Once again let’s all thank my man Arthur for being Y/N’s emotional support. He is always so nice with her, a real protective big brother. 🥺🖤 he’s so sweet! He has always little intentions for her, such as winking or standing for her. I just love how he defended her, trying to shake Tommy from his stupidity when that dumbass is convinced she has betrayed them. Seriously Tommy… WHY ARE YOU A CUNT?!!

I was just delighted he was jealous when she lied about seeing a man. Go girl, give him a taste of his own medicine 😈! I must also repeat myself but gooood your portrayal of Grace in this series gives me indescribable and violent urges. I just want to bash her head with a baseball bat —she’s so mean, like the typical bully. I hate how she’s rubbing salt on the wound by telling Y/N she has to forget about her FLING with Tommy. They are together since they are kids and he proposed to her but YEAH. It is just a fling, nothing else. I wanted to bow in front of Arthur (to pray of course, for what other reason?!) when he shut her stupid mouth with the iconic line “he never stopped” tell them king!!!

In truth I had a lot of hope at the poetic and magnificent scene Y/N singing and as she looked at each other the same way they did the day he left for France 😭 Like you didn’t have to break my heart like this Brummie, I literally got tears in my eyes and, I must remind you, I am at work!! I find this so beautiful that she sung and that it had made Tommy’s heart flinched. I was convinced they could at least talk a little bit and set things clear but of course Tommy “YOU DID IT FIRST” Shelby couldn’t help but being a childish and selfish idiot. Like he’s insisting. Why doesn’t this man reconsider who’s fault it is?? As sad as it was I just wanted to applaud Y/N for shoving the picket watch back in his hand and telling him to throw it away himself! That was such a powerful mood and little evil me hoped it had hurt him a little because he has spent five fucking years tormenting her.

The cliffhanger was insane. I can’t believe you’ve stopped at such an important moment, you’re my favorite little sadist, ma puce 🖤 “this time I won’t let you won’t baby brother” oh yeah love, defend little Y/N for us all please 😭🖤 Wonderful third part. You did a beast masterpiece as always. I swear your series are like a drug to me. I wasn’t informed when you posted it so when I saw it appear on my timeline I JUMPED on it. I can’t wait for part 4!!! Waiting is a torture I swear

Me ready to burn Tommy

PREVIOUS PART

Hopelessly Devoted (PART THREE)

Summary: After the previous day's events relentlessly play out in your head you come to the realisation it's time to move on from any hopes you had of rekindling your relationship with Tommy. But just as you decided to turn the page, Tommy's thoughts begin to be plagued by the past. His attempts at confessing how he really feels short lived when he discovers he has been betrayed on the day his plan to take out Billy Kimber falls apart.

Warnings: Language, angst, mutual pining

Authors note: The song Y/N sings is "Where have all the flowers gone" covered by Olivia Newton-John.

" Shit..." you said as you looked in your bathroom mirror dabbing the cut on your throat with a cotton ball doused in alcohol as you glanced down at your trembling hand, quickly grabbing it with the other to stop the shaking as your frustration with the constant nerves engulfing your every waking breath refused to relent. Walking over to your bed you sat down as tears began to form in the corner of your eyes. How was there even any left? You thought to yourself as you rested your head in your hand, exhausted from another night of almost no sleep. Biting the corner of your mouth you gave up letting the tears fall down your arm as the previous day's events played out in your head, tormenting you over and over again at the bitter pill you had finally forced yourself to swallow. This was it. I'ts over, there was no point in trying to kid yourself into thinking otherwise. Tommy may not have said the words to you himself but Kimber's men had made it clear to you of his feelings when they had a knife pushed up against your neck threatening your life. He was protecting the new barmaid he had known for five minutes by giving your name so freely, putting you in harm's way, the woman he had known his whole life the same woman he once wanted to marry at all cost. You thought to yourself as you glanced at his pocket watch sitting on your bedside table, glaring at it as if he had returned his love back to you, discarding anything he once felt for you like he had with your own feelings for him. Standing up you wiped your tears away as you straightened your body out trying to regain some sort of control over your emotions. Would he even care if you told him what happened when you left the Garrison? What did it even matter, you quickly determined. You had no intentions of telling him, you would not let him think you needed his protection, have him pity you, have him believe you couldn't fend for yourself. You was on your own now that much was clear, his feelings towards you finally understood when he replaced the one thing you never thought he would with such disregard and heartlessness. If Tommy was moving on it was time you did the same. No more tears no more day dreaming of what could have been. From this day forward you promised yourself not to let the heartbreak he had caused you drag you down any further. New me, new start. You mentally hummed to yourself like a mantra as you looked in the mirror hanging on the wall, holding up the burgundy dress you had picked out against your body. "Fuck him" you said as you nodded at your reflection, reassuring yourself on the hardest decision you had ever made. Grace can have him, good luck to her.

" Where is she?" Tommy huffed as he loomed over the large table in the room adjacent to the betting shop as his family looked on shrugging their shoulders. " I dont have fucking time to wait around for her shit" Tommy said as he pulled out his new pocket watch, the weight of it not feeling the same, the shape of it not sitting in his hand how he liked how he had become accustomed to.

" Yes your relentless brooding over her is not obvious at all" Polly uttered quietly under her breath as she licked her finger, turning the page of the newspaper in front of her as Arthur and John sniggered at eachother.

" What's that, hm?" Tommy said as he leaned forward his eyes darting between the three of them as Arthur put his hands up in defence unable to hold back the laugh he had been trying to keep in. You were getting under his skin, and Arthur found it the most comical thing he witnessed all week.

" Sorry brother" Arthur said as he sniffed back his laughs clearing his throat. "But she always has had you by your balls. Not that you'll ever admit it" Arthur snickered as the whole room let out a burst of small laughs whilst Tommy's face twisted in anger. There was nothing more loving than teasing a family member in the Shelby house.

" Right you all done? " he said pointing at everyone as he pulled his pocket watch out to check the time again " Five minutes" he mumbled as he clenched his jaw. " I'll fire every single one of you" Tommy muttered as he sat down in his chair with a huff.

" Alright now that you've had your little temper tantrum can we get to business. And she's ten minutes late not five" Polly said taking a sip of tea, a smile on her lips as she watched the realisation on Tommy's face. His watch for the first time in ten years was on time. Fuck. He had become so used to it being five minutes late he would plan all his meetings around the little habit you had started ten years ago, never bothering to or wanting to turn it to the right time. Except this time you was ten minutes late. Just as Tommy was about to get into another rant about your tardiness the sound of your heels echoing loudly though the betting shop had everyone but Tommy turn their head.

"Fabulous" Polly mouthed to you when you walked into the room, motioning up and down with her hand at your outfit as Tommy's head nearly flew of his neck when he turned to face John and the wolf whistle he had just sent your way.

"There she is" Arthur said, sending you a wink of approval as you strutted through the room with a new air of confidence passing by Tommy as he finally turned his head to you. Looking you up and down Tommy cleared his throat as he shifted in his seat hitching his trousers further up, his eyes widening as he looked you over. Was this for his benefit or everyone else's he wondered as he looked at the way your dress hugged every curve of your body, every curve he could never keep his hands off.

" You're late" he said as his eyes pierced into you, piercing through that fucking dress you had decided to wear to make him jealous, to torment him. He thought to himself as he tried to stay composed, tried to stop himself from saying something he would regret.

" Oh am I?" you replied nonchalantly as you pulled a chair out from the side, scrapping it along the floor to the opposite end of the end of table. " Only five minutes though" you said sitting down, having not once looked at him since you entered the room.

" Ten" Tommy replied as he leaned his elbow on the arm of his chair, his fingers resting in front of his lips as he watched you brush your hair behind your shoulder. Something was different. And since when did you start wearing dresses like that? Tommy thought to himself when he suddenly determined you had a new man. His only evidence being that dress he couldn't keep his eyes off and the small remark you made the other day about your relationship being over, a remark that had been playing on his mind ever since. His eyes still boring into you, Tommy quickly decided he'd find the bastard you was dating and rip his throat out for daring to go near you. Had everyone forgotten the warning he had given?

" Replaced that too I see" you said finally looking up as your eyes locked onto each others, a smirk on you lips as you enjoyed your new founded confidence. Last night's events had finally given you the push you needed, the wake up call you had been longing for.

"Shall we start" Polly said as everyone else who had been watching your interactions finally shifted their eyes away from the palpable tension between you. Nodding his head Tommy lit a cigarette shaking the flame from the match as he continued to watch you in the corner of his eye.

All throughout the meeting you could feel the heat of his glare burning into your cheeks with every minute that passed whilst you constantly fidgeted in your chair, desperately wanting to free yourself from his incessant stare. Your confidence was back but not enough to face his piercing blue eyes that he enjoyed watching you squirm under and the foul mood he had forced you and everyone else to endure. As for Tommy he had no interest in what his family had to stay. Instead he was more concerned as to what had you looking so pleased with yourself so poised, a far cry from how you had been in recent years. His concerns only heightened when John went over dates for an event Tommy had planned for everyone in celebration. A celebration for what, nobody new yet.

"Talked with Aunt Pol, only date free is February the fifteenth, in a month's time for your...whatever it is" John said chewing on the end of his pencil as he squinted at his handwriting on the piece of paper in front of him. " No the sixteenth" he said looking up as Polly rolled her eyes.

" The nineteenth" she said as she shook her head at her nephew whilst John shrugged his shoulders replacing the pencil in his mouth with a toothpick.

" Right yeh, fine" Tommy said as he mentally went through the dates in his head, hoping his plans in a week's time would go the way he wanted to actually have something to celebrate about. "Y/N you gonna write that down?" he said looking to you as he tapped his fingers on the table trying to gain your attention.

" I can't come" you said as you finished writing in your notebook finally looking up to see the irritation growing in Tommy's face.

" It's a company gathering. You don't have a choice. Moving on..." Tommy said as he flicked his ash into the glass dish beside him as he lent back into his chair.

" I'm not obligated. It wasn't in my contract" you said as you crossed your arms.

" You don't have a contract" Tommy scoffed as he rubbed his brow in frustration.

" Well I want one, that way I know exactly where I stand"

"Think you're making it pretty clear were you stand sweetheart" Tommy said as you glared at him. " So what is it that has you so busy you can't come, care to share it with us?"

" I have plans with someone" you lied. In truth, you didn't have any reason to not got to Tommy's event. You just didn't want to, knowing you wouldn't be able to endure another evening watching him with her again.

"You have plans with someone in a month's time? Who?" Tommy asked stubbing out his cigarette getting annoyed with your short response" With who Y/N?"

" What's it got to do with you?"

" Another man, is that it hm? You fuckin..."

" Right think we're done ay" Arthur said standing up as he clapped his hands together cutting Tommy off in attempt to break the tension before a slagging match ensued between you both. Staring eachother down you was the first to get up, briskly walking away with a scowl on your face as Tommy brushed his hand down his face.

" See that fucking attitude I have to deal with?" Tommy said as he stood up turning to Arthur. It wasn't the first spat you had ever had in front of everyone but it had been the first time in a long time that you finally bit back at his words, catching him of guard.

" Wonder where she learnt that?" Arthur said as he placed his hand on Tommy's shoulder before walking off with a smirk on his face.

" I won't stand for this kind of attitude in a work place! Hey, you all listening to me?" Tommy shouted as he turned to everyone in the betting office and their weak attempts to hide the amusement on their faces.

" We hear you baby brother!" Arthur called out as he grabbed his hat walking out the door. Clearly everyone was mad at him, mad at the way he had treated you the previous evening in the Garrison . But Tommy was just as mad at himself for letting the events play out. He felt blindsided by Grace's gift. He needed you to know that, he needed you to know the last thing he wanted was to be parted from it.

It had been a few hours since the meeting when the tension between you and Tommy had almost turned into a full blown argument one that potentially had the chance of you launching anything you could find at him. Thankfully Arthur had intervened, stopping you from embarrassing yourselves in front of the whole betting shop. For the remainder of the day you had stayed out of each others way letting your anger towards one another simmer down. But an hour before closing time Tommy had called you into his office. His plan was to apologise for the previous evening, albeit in a cold uniquely Tommy way. But nonetheless he felt guilty for what had happened last night. Little did he know, he was only going to make things worse. As you entered his office Tommy looked up from the various papers on his desk to the scowl still spread across your face. You was clearly still mad at him, did he really think he could just apologise and his cruel actions would be forgotten?

" Hand me my diary" he asked as he rubbed his forefinger above his top lip watching you as you crossed your arms in frustration. Did he seriously ask you in here to fetch his diary for him ? You thought to yourself as you stormed over to the shelves behind him as he cleared his throat reaching for the pack of cigarettes on his desk. Slamming it on the table in front of him you started to walk off when he grabbed your arm stopping you.

" I need you to write down the dates John gave at the meeting" he said as he looked up at you and the storm of anger building in your face.

" You couldn't have done that yourself?"

" Forgot them" he said as he picked up a pencil handing it to you.

" You never forget anything Thomas Shelby" you snapped back grabbing the pencil from his hand as you started turning the pages, a little huff leaving your throat that Tommy couldn't help but smile at. " What's this?" you asked pointing at a black star one week from today.

" The day I finish my dealings with Kimber. The dates" he said nodding at the book, lighting a cigarette as your hand wavered over the paper at the confirmation from Tommy himself that what Kimber's men had said yesterday when they had you pushed up against the brick wall behind your home was Indeed true. Turning the page a sudden surge of discomfort started to build within you, a discomfort you hadn't felt since he left for France. He was putting his life at risk once again, and the only reaction you had was worry, worry that he wouldn't come back from it. " There" you said quietly, pushing the book towards him as you turned to leave.

" Y/N' wait" Tommy said as he stood up walking over to you." The other day at the Garrison...the pocket watch i didn't want to.."

" Just stop Tommy" you said as put your hand up cutting him off " We've both moved on, why hold onto the past right? " you added as Tommy let out a deep sigh whilst you turned your head away from him avoiding as much eye contact as you possibly could.

" That's the thing, I never mov... What's that?" He said as he moved your hair away from your neck, you body flinching as his thumb rubbed along the small knife mark on your skin. " Y/N who did that to you?" Tommy said, his voice getting lower as a surge of anger started to course through him.

" It's nothing Tommy"

" Nothing? You're lying" he replied with a scoff as he moved your hair away again, ducking his head down to to get a better look when you swatted his hand away. " Looks like someone had a knife to your throat" he said as he let his hand drop to his side, fury rising within him at the mere thought of someone hurting you.

" Don't be ridiculous. I was cutting my hair and nipped my skin. Why do you care anyway?"

"You never was very good at lying Y/N" Tommy said huffing as he watched you bite the corner of you bottom lip whilst you fidgeted in place. " And you really think I stopped caring about you?"

" Yes" you said as the words caught in your throat, tears welling in your eyes as you spun around to the door not wanting him to see you like this. His pity was the last thing you needed to add to you ever growing list of reasons to feel insecure.

" Y/N wait, I need to know what happened " he said as he tried to turn you around but stopped as you shrugged him off you, opening the door then slamming it shut behind you.

" Fuck sake" Tommy muttered under his breath as he watched you return to your desk through the window of his office. There was no way he would let this slide. You was clearly lying to him and he was determined to find out why.

As closing time approached you picked up your belongings when your movements had Tommy who was deep in thought abruptly stand up grabbing his coat and hat. If he was coming out here to bombard you with questions as to what happened he could forget it. You thought to yourself as you hurried to the door hearing him call your name. "Fucking door" you mumbled, pulling at the handle trying to open it as you looked over your shoulder to see Tommy heading your way, luck finally falling upon you when John stopped him putting the book of takings in front of him. Open, open, open! You thought as you rattled the handle pulling it back and forth when the door suddenly opened with ease and Grace walked in.

" Y/N" she said as she looked you over, taking in your reddened face from your efforts, a small chuckle leaving her lips. " Came to surprise Tommy after work" she said as she continued to stand in your way.

" How lovely" you said sarcastically as you tried to push past her when she put her hand on your arm.

" I know about that old pocket watch you gave Tommy all those years ago" she said looking at you. " Best you let go off the past, after all Tommy said it was only a silly little teen fling" she said with a small smile.

" Fling?" You repeated taken aback by what she had just said, what Tommy had said to her.

" Childhood sweethearts never last Y/N, don't be naive" She said in a mocking tone, belittling you without an ounce of shame at her hurtful choice of words. What were you saying, what had she said? Tommy panicked as John continued to bother him with the takings of the day. As your head turned to face him, Tommy swallowed harshly at the sight of a tear falling down your cheek.

" Let her go Tommy" Grace said placing both her hands on his chest as he walked over to where you had been standing, watching you storm out onto the streets of Watery Lane as the door closed behind you.

A fling, a fucking fling. He once asked you to marry him, promised to spend the rest of his life with you, her words couldn't have cut deeper if they tried. Let them have eachother. You thought to yourself as you clutched your coat around you heading for home, back to the four walls where you knew you would ultimately fall apart once again, your new founded confidence short-lived your own promises discarded, dwindling down into a pile of self-doubt and surrender after Graces cruel remarks. Could things get any worse?

One week later..

Today was black star day, the day Tommy planned to take out Billy Kimber and all of his dealings. Sitting in the corner of the Garrison nursing the drink you had ordered over an hour ago you glanced over to see Tommy and Grace standing behind the bar pouring drinks for his men, undoubtedly to numb any nerves that threatened to appear risking the plan Tommy had been preparing meticulously for weeks. Lifting his head from the glass of stout he was pouring Tommy caught your eye. It was the first time in almost a week you had looked each others way, anything you had to say to one another was passed on to anyone in the betting shop that was willing and had the patience to deal with both of your stubbornness. But today was different and Tommy couldn't help but notice the way you was looking at him, the same way you looked at him as you both waited on the platform for the train to arrive and take him and all of the other men saying goodbye to their loved ones off to war. The only difference between them and you was you had barely uttered a word to eachother, his final goodbye before he boarded a quick peck to your cheek.

And as if you had been transported back five years, tears started to form in your eyes as you abruptly stood up leaving the Garrison like you did when Tommy stepped on the train not once looking back, leaving you alone and heartbroken. What you didn't know was, Tommy did look back. He pushed his way past all the other men in the carriage in search of a free window shouting your name as he desperately tried to get a glimpse of you one last time before he left for war.

"Y/N!" Tommy shouted as he grabbed his coat and hat racing out of the Garrison. He wouldn't let what happened on that platform five years ago play out again.

" Tommy wait! What are you doing?" Grace called out after him as she watched the Garrison doors close behind him. " Why does he always go after her? He doesn't even love her anymore" she seethed as she looked to Arthur who raised his brow downing the rest of his drink.

" Doesn't love her? He's a stubborn bastard but he never stopped Grace" Arthur said as he walked away leaving her fuming at Tommy's unrelenting devotion to you.

"Where have all the young men gone,

long time ago?

Where have all the young men gone?

Gone to soldiers, every one..."

You sang, tears streaming your cheeks as you sat by your little brother Georgie's gravestone, his life taken like so many others during an air raid. Wiping your tears you continued to sing as if time had stood still and you was back in 1916 sitting on the grass in the only place you felt peace and calm, waiting for the men you loved so much to return from war.

" Do you still sing that song for me?" Tommy said as he slowly approached you, afraid you'd stop.

" Leave me alone Tommy" you sniffed as you stood up brushing the remaining tears away from your cheeks, looking out at Small Heath in the distance.

" We live in the same town, work in the same place. I can't...I don't want to" He said as he stepped closer wanting to reach out to you, wanting to hold you in his arms like he should have done all those years ago.

" Yes, Tommy Shelby doesn't care what anybody else wants, what anybody else asks does he? you replied misunderstanding the meaning behind his words. " Why did you follow me?" you sighed picking up the dead flowers by Georgie's grave as you turned around making you way down the hill not wanting to even wait for his response when Tommy put his arm out, stopping you from walking any further.

" You were crying" he replied feeling like a teen boy again stuck on what he really wanted to say. " Y/N I.." Tommy sighed as he brought his thumb up, brushing it down your cheek. " I knew you would come up here" he said, his hand dropping from your face as he abandoned the small speech he had prepared as he made his way to the cemetery to find you.

" Crying, I've been crying for five years, only now you notice?!" you scoffed pushing past him.

" Oh I noticed, its not like you try and hide it, do you? " Always pushing it in my face, have you forgotten who's fault this all is, eh?" Tommy said as his stance stiffened, his coldness towards you making a swift return when you didn't respond to his veiled attempts to be tender with you.

" Here I almost forgot. Throw it in the cut like you did everything else when you came back from France, like you did my heart. After all it was just a fling " you said storming back to him as you pulled his pocket watch out of your coat, shoving it into his hands.

" A fling? Y/N!" Tommy called out furrowing his brow as he watched you run down the hill. "You broke my heart first, you fucking broke mine first!" Tommy shouted back taking his cap off as he brushed his hands through his hair. " Fuck!" He yelled throwing his hat onto the grass as Jeremiah and Arthur came running up the hill.

" Tommy!" Arthur shouted as his brother turned around to face them, brushing his eyes with the back of his hand.

" What? What is it?" Tommy sniffed as his eyes darted between them both. "Well?"

"Tell him what you just told me" Arthur said breathlessly as he turned to Jeremiah stood beside him.

" Just heard there's to van's driving up the Stratford Road. An old Corporal of mine said he recognised some of the men..he said it's the Kimber boys"

"Ada wake up! You and the baby get into the ball ring where there's lots of people" Tommy said as he stormed through their house on Watery Lane as Arthur, Jeremiah and his son Isaiah followed behind him.

" What's going on?" Polly said as she took in Tommy's panicked state.

"We've been fucking betrayed" he replied rubbing his forehead. " Someone let slip. Kimber's men are on their way here" Tommy said as he paced the room back and forth.

" Yeh but you can handle them Tommy" Polly said having confidence that her nephew had another plan if something like this was to to happen.

"It's just us. All the Lee's are on their way to Worcester, we're outnumbered" Tommy said as the realisation his plan had fallen apart started to sink in. "Fuck!" he shouted as he slammed his hands down onto the top of a cabinet, the pictures and ornaments rattling from the force of his outburst.

"Who else knew today was the day you was moving on Kimber? You said you kept it a secret who else did you tell? " Polly questioned as Tommy leaned his weight on the mahogany wood, clenching his jaw at what Isaiah had told him before they had all entered the house.

" Isaiah" Tommy said as he turned his head to the young Blinder. " Tell them what you just told me"

" Tom, I don't think she was..." he said as he stepped forward when his boss cut him off.

" Tell them!" Tommy shouted turning around, his patience wearing so thin he was close to loosing any self-control he had left.

" The other day I saw Y/N with Kimber's men in the alley way behind her place. I thought she'd come to you and tell you herself. Tom they look like they roughed her up " he said as Tommy scoffed at his remark.

" Nah I don't believe it. Y/N would never..." Arthur said when Tommy interrupted.

" Betray me? She fucking hates me, you've all seen it " he replied raising his brow as he stepped closer to his older brother. " You've always stuck up for her, but she did this, she threw us under the bus. All of us, even you Arthur" he said pointing his finger in his older brothers face.

" I'd back away if I was you Tommy, because this time I won't let you win baby brother" Arthur said pushing him in the chest away from him. " We've known her since we were bloody kids. Y/N would never betray this family, she's one of us" Arthur concluded as he walked away grabbing the bottle of whisky on the table, pouring himself a full glass before he too lost control of his temper.

" Tommy that girls been devoted to you the moment she met you, you're blinded by your bitterness towards her. Did you not tell anyone else? Polly asked as Tommy shook his head forgetting or ignoring the fact he had, the very same person who had written it in his diary. No, Tommy's sights were set on you, only you could have done this only you could have betrayed him.

(Part Four coming soon!)

Tag list: @cosniffee @jonsncws @powellssaturn @jessimay89 @bruher @riseandreigns4u @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @chimchimjiminie16 @gaslysainz @calicoootalks (unable to tag) @weaponizedvirtue @vlryexsworld (unable to tag) @shittyprofilebutfuckit @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @peakyswritings @kammsinn @mysticalbouquetwolf-posts @cherryslyce @esquivelbianca @taliawz (unable to tag) @answer-the-sirens @dielgonacoffee @cicilysgrace @nadloves @fanatics30 @httyd-marauders @beeposstuff @yeppaweshallsee (unable to tag) @ja-4-leyvam (unable to tag) @xmariakx @slighltyaboveaverageiq (unable to tag) @fairypitou @youngbananamilkshake

#Tommy the dumbass #Sir Arthur is our knight in shining armor #Y/N please throw the pocket watch at a Grace’s face #or your fist #hopelessly devoted #Tommy Shelby x reader #Brummie 🖤#my Tumblr sis

670 notes · View notes